Primal Carnage – Solid State (AtGames Legends Pinball Table Review)

PRIMAL CARNAGE – SOLID STATE

The solid state version of Primal Carnage shoots well enough, we suppose. What limited targets are here work. So, why were we so bored playing it? We were all sort of taken back by how subdued PCSS is. It’s not exactly a dynamic table. Honestly, we didn’t expect Magic Pixel would ever make anything this rudimentary again. The Taito tables kind of felt like the last hurrah for that. Guess we were wrong. This has no modes. It has no multiball. It gives the appearance of two distinct forms of gameplay: humans or dinosaurs. You pick one or the other at the start of each ball. Dinosaurs have to kill 100 humans, while humans have to inflict 10,00 hit points on dinosaurs. In reality, both have the same targets and the same requirements.

Both outlanes can be defended via old school Zaccaria outlane flippers. On a more thrilling table, these would be welcome. Here, it’s just another feature for a table that feels like it didn’t come from a place of genuine inspiration. Here’s hoping the other two Primal Carnage pins do better.

The math for each option appears different, but each requires the same amount of shots on the same targets. The object is just to repetitively grind shots until a counter reaches zero, then do it again with the opposite characters. Completing a cycle earns you an extra ball, and if you can do it twice (and we were never able to) it scores 50,000 points. This type of pick ‘n flick gameplay can work, but not with shots this boring or haphazardly laid out. The locker is particularly annoying, as it’s too easy to drain a ball in the locker’s sinkhole without actually lighting it, which requires all three drop targets to fall. The table’s signature, three different swinging targets, are too risky without proper value to be worthwhile. Primal Carnage SS’ gameplay is fossilized.
Stand Alone Table ($6 for HD, $7 for 4K)
Type: Zaccaria Solid State Model
Vice Family High: Angela “ADV” 71,130 (Top 20)
Sasha the Kid: BAD (2 out of 5)
Cathy: BAD
Angela: BAD
Oscar: BAD
Scoring Average: 2.0 – BAD

Attack From Mars on Nintendo Switch Review: Pinball FX AND The Ultra-Rare Pinball Arcade Version

More Pinball FX versus The Pinball Arcade on Nintendo Switch. Remember, the TPA version was listed for only a matter of minutes on April 6, 2018 before being immediately delisted. Did you miss out? In the case of Attack From Mars, no, you did not. Even a very imperfect version of AFM by Zen Studios is preferable to it. This is a special feature, but consider it our definitive Attack From Mars FX on Switch review and remember this does not apply to Pinball FX on other platforms. Read that review.

ATTACK FROM MARS
PINBALL FX FOR NINTENDO SWITCH

Thoughts of a Designer with Dave Sanders: “Experience Attack From Mars for just five minutes and you’ll understand why Brian Eddy keeps coming back to the same ‘two-flipper fan with one big center feature’ style more often than not with relatively minor differences each time. Because it WORKS. This intuitive, easy-to-learn, hard-to-master formula was lightning in a bottle and Eddy is loathe to let that go (and if he doesn’t use it, George Gomez will). Collectors – the primary cash-cow for pinball manufacturers these days – scoff at this as they’re always chasing the next new thing that, as far as they’re concerned, needs to be ‘bigger’ than the last. But instead of blaming Stern for being ‘lazy’, maybe blame Attack From Mars instead for just having been that good in the first place.”

Attack From Mars isn’t exactly a favorite for dueling in our family. We can’t beat Angela unless she has an unfathomable off-day, and frankly, even those tend to end with her getting pissed and leaving us in a smoking crater (what she did to us on the Pinball Arcade version will go down in family lore). But, Angela has questions about this version. “Are you sure the sample table they used to simulate Attack From Mars actually used a pinball made of stainless steel and not a round, unusually reflective rock?” Angela calls it “Boulder Balling” while Cathy says it’s more like the ball behaves like a beach ball partially filled with water. It has a lopsided bounce to it around the flipper zone. In fairness, that weird bouncing usually helps players to avoid the outlanes and makes rebounding a cinch. And that makes us wonder if that’s why it’s there. What if their engine turned the outlanes into Galactus and they had to add the wobble to correct it? Oh, and why does the right flipper just randomly release when you’re holding the button down? It’s not a constant thing, but it does happen. Angela, already furious that Zen Studios removed the replay extra ball (yea, WTF is up with that?!), argued for Attack From Mars to be declared OUT OF ORDER, but the vote must be unanimous and it wasn’t, so she gave it a rating of GOOD. Bit of a mixed message, but Sasha and Cathy dropped their ratings in solidarity. Attack From Mars FX on Switch needs a ton of work that we imagine won’t arrive until the Switch 2 hits. No rush. It’s only one of the most popular tables and a main reason people download FX.
Set: Williams Pinball Volume 2 ($9.99)
Type: Solid State – Dot-Matrix Display
Based on Attack From Mars by Bally (1995)
Designer: Brian Eddy
Conversion: Thomas Crofts
Duel Winner: Angela
Cathy: GREAT
Sasha the Kid: GREAT
Angela: GOOD
Oscar: MASTERPIECE
Dave: MASTERPIECE
Elias: PENDING
Scoring Average: 4.2 – Awarded a Certificate of Excellence
FX Difference: 0.8 Lower
TPA Difference: 1.2 Higher

THE PINBALL ARCADE ON NINTENDO SWITCH ATTACK FROM MARS COMPARISON

Pinball FX

The Pinball Arcade

We were dueling, which was foolhardy to begin with because Angela hasn’t lost a match of Attack From Mars in years. But, something weird was happening: Cathy was winning the game going into the third ball. Angela barely had a billion points at the start of her final ball and would have lost when it drained, but she had already earned the pity ball. And then Sasha just had to open her big yap. This really happened.

Sasha: Wow, Angela got the pity ball. Maybe we should only duel at this version. We might have a chance at beating her.
(Angela turns around looking livid, then turns back around and begins shooting conservatively.)
Oscar: You just had to open your mouth.
Cathy: Yea, what the hell, Sasha? Look at her face now!
Sasha: Whoops.
(After close to thirty minutes of watching in horror as Angela plays like an old lady counting change at the checkout stand, Angela rules the universe, then she plunges the next ball, turns around, drops the controller and lays the remaining game down with a score of 28,795,002,880 as she stares us down with madness in her eyes, then flips us the bird and walks out of the room like a boss.)
Oscar: Way to go, Sasha.
Cathy: Yeah, thanks a ton, Sasha. I was winning that game.
Sasha: My bad………… that was fire, though.
Oscar & Cathy: Indeed.

Angela ruled the universe despite this being a miserable table that, frankly, was nearly broken. Before Angela did, well, Angela things, none of us could get anything going on Attack From Mars TPA Switch. We were getting rejected on every angle, assuming the ball even made it that far up at all. Usually, it just sort of lobbed into the middle of the midfield. The flippers have NO punching power and the ball is even floatier than most tables. We strongly suspect many of the 60+ delisted pins we’ll be covering in these features are actually unfinished prototypes that never got fine-tuning and were submitted for content approval and not for actual listing. It would explain why the gravity was so wrong, even for TPA. However, before going to press, Cathy discovered that the table plays much better in the standard view. If she could have gotten a super combo, she might have even beaten Angela’s high score. Of course, the only reason to want the Switch version is for the ease of setting up the table view, so this defeats the point.

We can honestly say this is the worst version of Attack From Mars we’ve played, ever. Hands down. Angela came to believe that seal clapping increased the strength of both flippers, but shots off the flippers often gained no speed. She only put up the score she did by playing catch-set-shoot, and then she had to change the camera at the last second to finish the wizard mode. “Bad as it is, the angles are right.” So, it has that going for it. The funny thing is, the worst version of Attack From Mars still further cements how amazing this table is. A version with the wrong gravity and crippled flippers still is fun enough and well designed enough to score straight GOOD ratings from us. Sure, that’s an astonishing drop of two full points, but it’s also the final proof needed that Attack From Mars must be the perfect pinball table if such a terrible port can still be fun.
DELISTED
Type: Solid State – Dot-Matrix Display
Based on Attack From Mars by Bally (1995)
Designer: Brian Eddy
Vice Family High: Angela “ADV” 28,795,002,880
Cathy: GOOD
Sasha The Kid: GOOD
Angela: GOOD
Oscar: GOOD
Scoring Average: 3.0 – Awarded a CLEAN SCORECARD

THE VOTES
attack from mars

Cathy: Pinball FX
Sasha the Kid: Pinball FX
Angela: Pinball FX
Oscar: Pinball FX
Unanimous Decision: Pinball FX wins 4 – 0

Bram Stoker’s Dracula for The Pinball Arcade on Nintendo Switch (Table Review)

The Pinball Arcade was released on Nintendo Switch on April 6, 2018, then immediately delisted in under two hours and modified to remove all the Bally/Williams pins. Years after this happened, The Pinball Chick was given seven separate review codes that gave us these tables. These are among the rarest content in the entire history of Nintendo consoles, and it’s all largely undocumented. That’s why we’re providing these reviews. All media presented in these Pinball Arcade for Switch reviews we release to all content creators and websites for use in any content you make. All we ask is that you link to ThePinballChick.com.

BRAM STOKER’S DRACULA

Thoughts of a Designer with Dave Sanders: “I’ve never really got the love some people have for this one. Hated it on release for its putrid colours, rough scrappy sound and those damn lightning flippers. Looking at it now, it just seems… old. Not ‘gothic atmosphere’ old though there’s plenty of that, but old-fashioned for April 1993. Fewer moving parts than Barry Oursler’s Doctor Who or even Hurricane. The one moving part it does deserve big props for is the mist ball magnet, but that’s part of the other problem; the limited content outside of the three multiballs is pure fluff, and the fumbled early version of stacking hasn’t twigged yet that doing so with close to an entire game is a bad idea. Stack all three multiballs once, and you never need to touch it ever again (didn’t they learn anything from Bride Of One Shot’s Billionaire Club?). It’s probably significant that Bram Stoker’s Dracula and Twilight Zone came out in the same month; the development bloat of the latter is legendary, it definitely seems like something else had to give, and BSD drew the short straw.”

Bram Stoker’s Dracula is notorious for its lightning flippers, but honestly, the Switch version is right up there with the Arcooda build in being a kinder, gentler prince of darkness. But, there’s no need to feel any sense of FOMO, because Dracula is completely, totally, utterly broken. From teleporting balls to balls clipping through solid objects to the auto-plunge failing to get the ball on the table to live balls and the floating mist ball trading places, this thing kept finding new ways to fail to work as a simulation of a real machine. As big of fans as everyone (but Cathy) is of Bram Stoker’s Dracula, TPA never quite worked the bugs out on any platform, but this version specifically is really bad. Literally every game that didn’t have three house balls (which, hey, it’s Dracula so it happens) had some catastrophic, game-wrecking (if not outright game-ending) glitch. How bad can it get? Here’s the game saying the ball was lost when it was still live and in play.

Dracula could have scored a 3.75 and a Certificate of Excellence with Cathy being the lone GOOD vote and the rest voting GREAT. But, if you think you missed out on the only version of Dracula on Switch, well, you didn’t. We highly anticipate this will eventually find its way to Pinball FX, but we don’t expect much from it. We’re excited for a LOT of tables to debut on FX, but with Dracula, we’re honestly pretty skeptical about it. Pinball FX isn’t exactly known for having an effective nudge or backhand, tactics that are absolutely essential for playing Dracula at a high level. Playing the TPA build on Switch reminded us of that, especially with a drain that a coffin could fit between. Terminator 2 will play great on Zen’s engine. Johnny Mnemonic will. Dirty Harry will. But Dracula? We imagine it’ll be about as bad as Keanu’s acting in the film it’s based on.
DELISTED
Type: Solid State – Dot Matrix Display
Based on Bram Stoker’s Dracula by Williams (1993)
Designers: Barry Oursler & Mark Sprenger
Vice Family High: Cathy “IGC” 1,158,456,100 totally legitimately earned points, honest to goodness. (Had it been anything near a top 100 score, she would have quit-out so not to wreck the leaderboard)
Declared OUT OF ORDER by The Pinball Chick Team

Black Knight for The Pinball Arcade: The Delisted Nintendo Switch Version (Table Review)

BLACK KNIGHT

Like the Arcooda build of Black Knight, you cannot play the Switch version in four players because the game will end on the third ball the first time a player loses a ball to the outlane. In real life, there’s bonus time, but they used some kind of general coding and didn’t account for that. So, games of Black Knight have to be played one at a time. A crying shame, because it’s not exactly one of those tables that makes for a great spectator experience.

Black Knight and Firepower were the two tables that were in the Vice Household before Cathy was even born, so they both hold special places in our hearts. Well, Cathy and Oscar’s, at least. Angela and Sasha, soon to be ages 15 and 10 respectively, really don’t “get” Firepower, which is Oscar’s favorite table ever and one that Cathy admits her fandom of is something resembling Stockholm Syndrome. But, they “get” Black Knight. Sasha especially is a big fan who credits it with improving her multiball game. After playing it, she wished that more multiball tables downplayed jackpots in favor of a general multiplier based on how many balls are active. It really helps that Black Knight is one of the great juggling multiball tables, something that TPA’s floaty physics complement perfectly. It’s like rubbing your tummy and patting your head at the same time and takes LOTS of practice, but there are so many options for ball management that flow seamlessly no matter what option you use. That type of flexibility is the secret sauce that’s often missing on modern multiball-centric tables.

I was certain this excellent build of Black Knight would earn a perfect score, but it didn’t thanks to the cold-hearted Angela. She’s adopted. Angela thinks getting multiball is too easy which is why she’s not sold on this being a MASTERPIECE, real or digital. She thinks that Black Knight, important as it is to pinball history, is actually not completely timeless and lacks signature shots. “It relied on the eye-catching split-level layout to lure quarters, then gave players a smooth-shooter to keep them there. That premise was never going to remain timeless. If not for excellent bottom floor target and ramp placement, I don’t think Black Knight would even be considered a good table. I think the upper floor is too easy and too forgettable.”

Dave, our resident designer and pinball expert doesn’t necessarily disagree with Angela’s point about timelessness, but he can explain why Black Knight had to be the polar opposite of Firepower to stand out in an increasingly crowded field. “The split-level is the most innovative and eye-catching ‘new’ element about Black Knight, but isn’t in fact the most ‘important’. It’s how that affects the multiball. Firepower comes out at the start of 1980 (February), Black Knight at the end of 1980 (December). Steve Ritchie designs both, and he knows damn well the moment Firepower comes out, everyone’s going to jump on the idea. Williams can patent the lane change but they can’t patent the multiball, since it was used before in EMs. So every game afterwards has to up the multiball ante by introducing another exciting new thing to keep it fresh and stay one step ahead of the competition and leave them all playing catch-up. Xenon and Flight 2000 take their inspiration from the lengthier stage-based Firepower one. Black Knight therefore HAS to make multiball more immediate, with the split-level making up the real challenge.” No matter our stance, we all salute Black Knight. It’s one of the all-time greats and possibly the greatest multiball trainer of all-time.

DELISTED
Type: Solid State – Numeric Display
Based on Black Knight by Williams (1980)
Designer: Steve Ritchie
Vice Family High: Cathy “IGC” 2,976,330
Cathy: MASTERPIECE
Sasha The Kid: MASTERPIECE
Angela: GREAT
Oscar: MASTERPIECE
Scoring Average: 4.75 – The Pinball Chick Pantheon of Digital Pinball Inductee

Cine Star (AtGames Legends Pinball Table Review)

CINE STAR

If there’s such a thing as our favorite bad pinball table, then in the Vice Household, it’s Cine Star. I know now that we’re doing AtGames tables, we’re running through a few digital pins we’ve already reviewed before (Aerobatics) and yea, we’ve done Cine Star already. But Sasha the Kid needs the review practice, especially since I took the keyboard to freak out over Battle Deluxe. She kind of knew Cine Star wasn’t exactly a highly rated table, but we were curious, and she noticed the smirks as she stepped up to the plate. “Is… this it?” Yes Kid, that’s it. Cine Star is the definitive one-shot wonder. So what was Sasha’s insight? “It’s exactly like one of the Zaccaria Retro tables, only if it had a full Italian Bottom.” Actually.. yea, that’s a good description of it. Cine Star has one gimmick: a central spinner that scores between 10,000 and 100,000 points, along with a lot of clanking. The playfield is super tight, so the ball is going to bang around and make a whole lot of noise in the style of an old timey boardwalk pin. But, Cine Star is a lot less luck-based than a typical boardwalk because it has a standard layout, so you don’t have to relearn the entire sport just to play defensively. I still think it’s BAD. We all do, even the two GOOD voters. Jordi no longer stands alone with the sole positive rating (it is a good shot is his basic argument in its entirety). Sasha found it addictive and enjoyable, and she also insisted we were just plain wrong. “It’s not ALWAYS a one-shot table. If you get down to one or two stars, that means you’re one or two shots away from an extra ball. Those are SHOTS, and good ones!” Dad and Angela disagree and will never like Cine Star, and I’m not moving off my BAD rating, because I think lucky bounces will always factor in too heavily. But, I concede Cine Star isn’t REALLY a one-trick pony. Plus, we’ve always had fun dueling at Cine Star. Oh sure, my family whines about it, but we care who wins, and that ain’t nothing.
Set: Zaccaria Pinball Pack 1
Type: Electro-Mechanical – Real Table
Based on “Cine Star” by Zaccaria (1977)
Part of Zaccaria Pinball (Console/PC)
Vice Family High: Sasha the Kid “KID” 1,694,030 (Top 25 All Time)
Cathy: BAD (2 out of 5)
Angela: THE PITS (1 out of 5)
Oscar: THE PITS
Sasha the Kid: GOOD (3 out of 5)
Jordi: GOOD*
Dave: BAD*
Scoring Average: 2.0 –BAD
*Played on Zaccaria Pinball for Consoles/PC

AtGames Legends Pinball: Natural History Pinball Pack 1, 2, and 3 Table Reviews

Huge thanks to Sasha the Kid, all of 9 years old, who actually wrote a lot of this. She is heir-apparent to Indie Gamer Chick and The Pinball Chick and a very talented pinballer who set her first world record at the ripe age of 8 (she was briefly Exploding Kittens world champion for Pinball FX and since then has claimed a few other records that held on longer). Sasha got the AtLegends Micro for Christmas in 2023 and she’s been putting more time into it than we have our other AtGames pins. She’s worked very hard with all of us to put this together. Like all Pinball Chick reviews, this is the product of my whole pinball-playing family debating the merits of these pins. With that said, each Natural History pack costs $25 and comes with four tables. Presented to you here are quick reviews of all twelve tables in that series so far, along with general thoughts on the Natural History franchise. Enjoy!
WE DO NOT OWN THE 4K MODELS YET, but these reviews should cover those builds as well.

Scoring System

MASTERPIECE: 5 out of 5, the cream of the crop.
GREAT: 4 out of 5, an elite pin.
GOOD: 3 out of 5. A decent but flawed pin. To be clear, GOOD means “good” at The Pinball Chick.
BAD: 2 out of 5, a poorly designed pin or a competent pin that’s just not fun.
THE PITS: 1 out of 5, an actively abysmal pin with a multitude of problematic elements.

Award System

CERTIFIED EXCELLENT: A scoring average of 3.6 or higher awards a Certificate of Excellence. We generally consider a table that’s awarded this certificate to have a value of $15 by itself.
PANTHEON INDUCTEE: A scoring average of 4.6 or higher earns the table a space in our Pantheon of Digital Pinball. We generally consider a table that enters the Pantheon to be a must-own table.
CLEAN SCORECARD: An otherwise decent table that, while not amazing, earned no ratings of BAD or THE PITS. We don’t place a set value on this award and suggest our readers decide what a table we ultimately all approve of is worth to you.
💩CERTIFIED TURD💩: A scoring average of 1.4 or lower earns the table a place in the Sewer of Digital Pinball. While we don’t penalize a set for having a Certified Turd, it certainly isn’t a positive thing.

NATURAL HISTORY GENERAL REVIEW

Natural History, generic as it is, is also one of the most consistently good franchises in digital pinball. Most of these are basically Zaccaria Pinball Deluxe models by Magic Pixel. A couple are more like their Zaccaria Remake line due to really simple layouts, but all twelve use LCD scoreboards and overall, these are pretty ambitious pins.
The LCD scoreboards are awful. The animations are too slow and too frequent. Some tables might see players go quite a while before they can even see what their score is because animations are constantly going off. We’re not fans of Magic Pixel/Zaccaria’s LCD scoreboards in general. They’re cheap looking, ugly, and pretty slow. We think a lot of the bugs were related to scoreboards, possibly because of the gameplay happening faster than the scoreboard can keep up with. Magic Pixel should consider new ROMs for every pin. It’s not too late.
Out of the twelve tables, a whopping nine earned positive marks across the board. In total, there were four tables CERTIFIED EXCELLENT and five that won a CLEAN SCORECARD.
Every Natural History pack has at least one table that won a Certificate of Excellence.
No MASTERPIECE votes were cast at all. Dinosaur Dynasty 1 would have gone four-for-four if not for the ROM not reading every lit shot.
The best overall pack is a little bit murky. Technically, Natural History 3 is the only one that made up its $25 price tag via certificates, as it has two Certified Excellent tables. But, it also has the only 💩Certified Turd💩 in the franchise. Natural History 1, on the other hand, had no votes of BAD or THE PITS cast at all.
Four different tables were named “best overall Natural History table” by the four Vice Family players. Cathy named Dinosaur Dynasty 2 her #1. Sasha was the only GREAT vote at all for Amazonia and declared it her #1. Insect World was Angela’s favorite, while Oscar preferred Egypt. We’re all in agreement that if Dinosaur Dynasty 1 is fixed, it’ll be our unanimous #1.
Some of the tables crash, which means it just takes you back to the table’s page on the launcher. One time, a table froze so badly we had to restart the whole machine. Nobody suffered worse than Angela. She had multiple high-scoring games that would have easily been the family high scores, one of which was even a world record pace. We couldn’t figure out any reason for this.

AFRICA

Like most of the Zaccaria Deluxe models, Africa is a zoner. If you don’t like that style of pin, you’re not going to like this one. I think all the Vices are fans of Zaccaria Deluxe pins, but they all have the same basic problems. Zaccaria DMs always shoot a little clunky, but I like that. I like that they use non-traditional angles that have to be learned for the first time instead of basing the angles off of famous earlier pins. Africa’s targets are built especially off the supplementary flippers. This is a shooter’s pin, with an emphasis on tight shots off the sup’s. Like most Zaccaria DMs, they never quite learned full scoring balance. The upper right hand corner has three targets that light a spinner that can practically open a scoring floodgate. When it works, at least. Sometimes the ball goes right on target and the spinner doesn’t budge. They need to patch this for Oscar and Cathy to bump their scores to GREAT. I think the overall thrilling targets make up for it. Africa is one of the best Natural History pins.
Pack: Natural History Pack 2
Vice Family High: Cathy “IGC” 274,732,360 (#26 All Time)
Cathy: GOOD – Sasha the Kid: GREAT – Angela: GREAT – Oscar: GOOD
Scoring Average: 3.5 – Awarded a CLEAN SCORECARD

AMAZONIA

They could have just as well based this table on the Panama Canal for how wide the flipper drain is. There’s a drain pin that can be highly effective with practice, but it’s never quite predictable when the ball will lose its bounce on it. It doesn’t help that the table mechanics themselves are unpredictable. The South American Jaguar hole kicks the ball out multiple different strengths and angles, sometimes right between the flippers. So, when playing Amazon, prepare to play defensively. On the other hand, like most of Magic Pixel’s Deluxe line, Amazonia goes BIG with a mixture of classic pinball and a virtual wonderland of ramps, secondary and, uh, third..an..ary flippers. How come “thirdanary” isn’t a word? Modes are short and pay off huge. Completing rows of stand-up targets pays off huge. Like with Africa, there’s a heavily unbalanced and relatively low-risk mini-field that puts a damper on everything because the logical strategy is to go for it and grind-up easy points. None of us hated Amazonia, but none of us loved it either. Except Sasha, but she beat the crap out of us on it.
Pack: Natural History Pack 1
Vice Family High: Cathy “IGC” 117,029,540
Cathy: GOOD – Sasha the Kid: GREAT – Angela: GOOD – Oscar: GOOD
Scoring Average: 3.25 – Awarded a CLEAN SCORECARD

DEEP OCEAN

One of the few bad tables in the Natural History series, Deep Ocean should instead be renamed “Deep Drain” from all the angles the drain swallows-up live balls. Most of the return angles are shallow and aimed at the drain. You’d swear this is a Zen original with how trollish those angles are. A sharpshooter can get away with a table based around rapid-fire transitions from offense to defense, but not a big, complicated monstrosity like Deep Ocean. Also, those left rails are among the consistently deadly of any rails we’ve experienced. This is a table that crosses the line into demoralizing, but it lacks the fun shots that make up for it. The best thing we can say about Deep Ocean is that it speaks to how strong the Zaccaria Deluxe line’s premise is, because it’s not even close to THE PITS for any of us. Instead, it’s just frustrating to the point of boredom.
KICKBACK – Oscar: How did I raise such soft kids? Deep Ocean’s problems are entirely related to how easy it is to work the bumpers for high-yield, low risk points. The return angles are dangerous, but you can defend against them. What was the point of buying an expensive table with relatively accurate nudge detection if you kids aren’t going to use it to defend the drain? Magic Pixel has got to start learning some semblance of scoring balance, but the challenge Deep Ocean presents is hardly insurmountable.
Pack: Natural History Pack 2
Vice Family High: Angela “ADV” 76,847,980
Cathy: BAD – Sasha the Kid: BAD – Angela: BAD – Oscar: GOOD
Scoring Average: 2.25 – BAD

DINOSAUR DYNASTY

Dinosaur Dynasty is the definition of a pinball killer app and potentially one of the greatest Magic Pixel pins ever. But, it’s not, because it’s one of the most problematic pins. Angela especially has a legitimate beef with it, as it became the first table to crash our AtGames pin, and it was after she had a 90,000,000+ ball (a top 50 pace). It also had an uncanny tendency to not recognize made shots during modes. Since all scoring halts during modes, it’s a dinosaur-sized problem to have even one shot be made, complete the circuit, and not count, for whatever reason, towards progress. This happens a lot with Zaccaria’s Deluxe line, but Dinosaur Dynasty 1 is the absolute worst with it. Now, here’s the good news: all four Vices are ready to roll out the red carpet for Dinosaur Dynasty to enter the Pinball Chick Pantheon of Digital Pinball. This DESERVES to be an elite pin, with a killer layout and a wide variety of satisfying shots and targets. The mini-tables never feel like a grind. The layout feels fully optimized for multiball. Look, we all hate the Magic Pixel “no scoring during modes” setup. It’s lame and I hope they mature past it eventually. But, Dinosaur Dynasty is easily one their best tables ever and worthy of a perfect score, and it’s only not getting one due to terrible coding. Magic Pixel, you have GOT to fix this. Dinosaur Dynasty should be your flagship pin. The ROM seems to be pretty slow in general, it takes FOREVER to count up points, but if you fix it and it recognizes every made shot, we will induct this in the Pantheon.
Pack: Natural History Pack 1
Vice Family High: Angela “ADV” 119,203,200
Cathy: GREAT – Sasha the Kid: GREAT – Angela: GOOD – Oscar: GREAT
Scoring Average: 3.75 – Awarded a CERTIFICATE OF EXCELLENCE

DINOSAUR DYNASTY 2

Yep, this is a franchise now. Actually, thanks to the ROM issues with the first table, right now the sequel has a high scoring average. 0.25 points higher, but higher is higher. We greatly admire that this follow-up to Dinosaur Dynasty plays NOTHING like the first. You feel it in the modes, which have a wider variety of targets and no timer running against you. Well, not exactly running against you. You can’t time out, but every mode is potentially high-yielding if you can get your shots off fast enough because they have hurry-ups attached to them. Good thing, too, because DD2 is one of the easiest Magic Pixel pins. This is a positive, though. Dynasty 2 can be an excellent trainer table for the more complex pins in the Deluxe line. On the downside, this is a pretty boring multiball table, which is a shame because it’s an easy multiball to activate. Dinosaur Dynasty isn’t the most exciting table, but it also makes very few mistakes.
Pack: Natural History Pack 3
Vice Family High: Angela “ADV” 289,935,470 (#10 All Time)
Cathy: GREAT – Sasha the Kid: GREAT – Angela: GREAT – Oscar: GREAT
Scoring Average: 4.0 – Awarded a CERTIFICATE OF EXCELLENCE

EGYPT

Egypt is so full of burst-scoring mini-modes that it’s almost a surprise this is a Magic Pixel table. The mini-modes are based around different Egyptian Gods, and each mode is quick to activate and scales based on how many times you activate each mode in a single ball. You can get up to five million per shot with these, if you grind-up the value. Other than the transfer shots required to make your way to the basement, they might be too easy. The transfer from the basement to the primary playfield is done via the plunger in a way that directly feeds the primary flippers. Because of that, the basement isn’t merely low-risk, but no-risk. Unless the game crashes. Angela, yet again, was the victim of a crash, during the basement when she built up a massive value of the easy-to-shoot HORUS mode. At least it was only once this time and there were no instances of the table just not recognizing made shots. The main modes feel like extended versions of the mini-modes, only there’s no timer and optional bonus points to be had by completing an extra task while the mode is live. Ancient Egypt is a digital pinball staple and, while this offers nothing new, the layout is pretty fun, even if the thrills are low thanks to the basement and the main table being so disconnected from each-other.
Pack: Natural History Pack 2
Vice Family High: Oscar “OEV” 430,481,570 (#7 All Time)
Cathy: GREAT – Sasha the Kid: GREAT – Angela: GREAT – Oscar: GREAT
Scoring Average: 4.0 – Awarded a CERTIFICATE OF EXCELLENCE

EXOPLANETS

If Exoplanets were revamped to be more inline with the current crop of new Zaccaria/Magic Pixel Deluxe pins, it’d be one of our top-ranked tables. Magic Pixel’s fatal flaw has long been the fact that all other scoring pauses during modes, but that really hurts Exoplanets. There’s so many fun targets that go unloved during modes. Of course, Exoplanet has the shortest modes of any Zaccaria Deluxe Model. Like, seriously, the first mode is done in a single shot. Not one shot done three times. ONE SHOT! Exoplanet is a great trainer table for pinball newcomers. It also carries over the concept of portholes that act as the multiball locks and suck the balls in, ala the Zen Studios classic Ahch-To Island. Only these seem to create a gravity sink whether they’re “lit” or not. It’s also worth noting that this was the AtGames exclusive we’ve reviewed so far that didn’t merely crash but froze the entire device and forced us to recycle the power. So, beware this one. The good news is that Exoplanets is likable. Almost like the logical spiritual successor to PIN*BOT. We really hope Magic Pixel realizes that there’s nothing inherently sacred about their original builds for all these pins and revamps them all with new rules that open the game up during modes. We think Exoplanets would be a shoe-in for a Certificate of Excellence. Right now, it’s only okay.
Pack: Natural History Pack 1
Vice Family High: Sasha the Kid “KID” 173,538,420
Cathy: GOOD – Sasha the Kid: GOOD – Angela: GOOD – Oscar: GOOD
Scoring Average: 3.0 – Awarded a CLEAN SCORECARD

THE INSECT WORLD

Wait, didn’t Magic Pixel already do a butterfly-themed table? Farfalla Deluxe, right? No? Okay, well, this is a solid table too. It’s one of the easiest tables to juggle a combo with any of us have ever played, but Insect World flows so smoothly that the endless passing between four orbits, two of which are ramps, never gets old. In fact, we were putting up monster scores without even starting modes. It wasn’t until Angela went crazy and shot the lights out after crashing a nine-figure first ball (seriously, don’t make her mad. It just makes her shoot better) that we even found out how to start a mode at all. The mode start is a six-shot locker that’s tucked away from other targets. It’s an odd choice, to the point that it felt like they almost forgot to make a mode start target and just shoved it wherever they could find room. Insect World is such a well-flowing table that we’ll grant them that one instance of inelegance. We liked that each set of lane lights are independent to each flipper, something we’d like to see a lot more of in the future. Angela wants to stress that they need to patch this, because she crashed it a couple times and was ready to quit AtGames reviews altogether. It started to feel spooky that it was only happening to her. It speaks to how good this table can be that Angela wanted to finish what she started. In a solid pinball franchise, Insect World is a standout. Get rid of the butterflies swooping over the playfield, though.
Pack: Natural History Pack 3
Vice Family High: Angela “ADV” 494,643,600 (#8 All-Time)
Cathy: GREAT – Sasha the Kid: GREAT – Angela: GREAT – Oscar: GREAT
Scoring Average: 4.0 – Awarded a CERTIFICATE OF EXCELLENCE

THE LAST ICE AGE

Last Ice Age is a potentially great table that’s about one-third worse off just based on the violence of the bumpers and slingshots alone. We’ve had entire 60 second timers eaten up by balls bouncing around the bumpers. Mind you, you’re scoring NOTHING that entire time, too. This is one of those pins where the rest of the targets take a nap during a mode. The bumpers are too close too close to each-other, and for a few of the modes, they’re basically unavoidable because the lit shots feed them. The slingshots are equally as violent, so 60 seconds to finish a mode is NEVER sixty seconds of actual chances at winning the mode, especially since so many angles drop the balls straight on those ultra-violent slings. Ice Age is hypothetically a close cousin of Egypt, with lots of mini-modes that would be fun if not for the fact that the slings and bumpers prevent you from even being able to shoot the ball in the first place. This is also one of those tables where you shoot saucers instead of targets or cellars, and even if the shot is on point, it’s a coin flip if the ball will actually score the saucer or just roll out. Ice Age is a GREAT table rendered barely okay. There’s nothing it does wrong that Magic Pixel couldn’t adjust. They should, because the modes are good enough that this should cruise to Certificate of Excellence.
Pack: Natural History Pack 1
Vice Family High: Oscar “OEV” 250,082,060
Cathy: GOOD – Sasha the Kid: GOOD – Angela: GOOD – Oscar: GOOD
Scoring Average: 3.0 – Awarded a CLEAN SCORECARD

NATURE’S FURY

Nature’s Fury was going to be the worst of the Natural History pins even if it didn’t make some of the most mind-bogglingly dumb design choices of any AtGames exclusive table. This is a house ball machine, with several auto-plunges ricocheting off fixtures and down the drain in a way you can’t possibly defend against. Seriously, this plunger needs to be taken out back and shot like Old Yeller, then replaced with a new plunger that actually sends the ball up and into the playfield. It doesn’t matter though, because randomly killing balls is this table’s thing. We only managed to play the first two modes, the first of which is lightning strikes. You have to hit the flashing ramps five times, and while you do this, the table shoots your ball with lightning, stopping the shots dead in their tracks. We’re not kidding. Anyone want to play a pinball table where literal sky magic stops your ball from completing a shot that’s on point? More than once, the ball was literally on the ramp when the lightning hit it and sent it backwards. The final straw was that getting into a shooting rhythm isn’t possible because if you make the ramp shot too close together, the game likely won’t count it. This is one of those tables where the ROM is so slow that you have to wait for it to finish processing the previous made shot before you can make it again. So even making the ramp five times doesn’t guarantee you win because it just plain might not count some of the shots. Hey, Magic Pixel: your scoreboards don’t need as much animation as you do with them, because those animations are breaking the games! They’re scoreboards, not Hollywood productions! Stop it! This table themed around disasters lives up to the theme in the worst way possible.
Pack: Natural History 3
Vice Family High: Angela “ADV” 364,172,320
Cathy: THE PITS – Sasha the Kid: THE PITS – Angela: THE PITS – Oscar: THE PITS
Scoring Average: 1.0 – 💩CERTIFIED A TURD💩

POLAR EXPEDITION

We assume they gave this a polar theme because the pace is glacial. Did this table REALLY need seven jet bumpers at the top? Seven! It slows the gameplay to a crawl, especially since so many angles lead to the eight lanes that feed the bumpers. Yikes. Well, at least they didn’t do anything truly moronic, like tying a high-scoring two-ball multiball to the bumpers. Oh wait, they did. Yea, it doesn’t take that many bumps to activate Antarctic Multiball, where you can juice the jackpot values by shooting the SEAL saucer. Okay, well, tell me that they didn’t further compound this problematic design by, say, tying the ball save to the slingshots, which are basically unavoidable. Oh wait, they did that too. Both Angela and Sasha had 200,000,000 point multiballs from this easy to get multiball alone. So, why aren’t they the world champions? Because they couldn’t avoid starting the low-scoring modes, where all other targets stop putting up any points. Since basically every shot is tied to a different mode start, you could end up stuck grinding out the lit mode shots when multiball will earn you 50x their value. Any table where you DON’T want to start modes is guaranteed to fail. Ignore the 2.0 we gave it, because Polar Expedition’s entertainment value is sub-zero.
Pack: Natural History Pack 2
Vice Family High: Angela “ADV” 396,258,060 (#14 All Time)
Cathy: BAD – Sasha the Kid: BAD – Angela: BAD – Oscar: BAD
Scoring Average: 2.0 – BAD

WORLD OF MICROBES

Easily the most odd of the Natural History tables, World of Microbes has a fairly conventional layout that’s made “wacky.” The mini-field is mostly (but not entirely) accessible through a whiparound loop, which is shaped like a half-moon dimple on the left wall and basically acts as a transfer if shot correctly. It’s so satisfying to shoot, and the mini-field pays off high enough to make it worth shooting. The rest of the table is downright tame, but there’s one final twist: Magic Pixel’s best use ever of digital targets. The “modes” see players shooting at different viruses that roam around the table. While they make for good targets, they’re not as good as they could be. Because the whole Zaccaria Deluxe engine is apparently slow, the little viruses and bacteria sprites that you shoot don’t die on impact. There’s a pronounced delay from the time contact is made until they go into their death animation. Thus, there’s no OOMPH, and without that, it takes away all satisfaction these targets should, by all rights, be loaded with. In general, we’re not happy with the performance of the ROMs for any Natural History table, but World of Microbes is the first one where it actively sucks the excitement out of the gameplay. If they fix this, it’s another game that can cruise to a Certificate.
Pack: Natural History 3
Vice Family High: Angela “ADV” 208,916,960
Cathy: GREAT – Sasha the Kid: GOOD – Angela: GOOD – Oscar: GOOD
Scoring Average: 3.25 – Awarded a Clean Scorecard

Blade (Pinball FX Table Review)

Blade
First Released December 8, 2010
Main Platform: Pinball FX
Switch Platform: Pinball FX
Designed by Imre “Emeric” Szigeti
Set: Marvel Pinball Collection 1 ($23.99)
Links: Strategy Guide – Pinball FX Wiki

Oddly enough, only a handful of the Marvel pins actually attempt to feel like they’re tied to comic books. You’d think Blade would be one of those that didn’t, but it’s really second only to Spider-Man in creating that comic-like energy using fonts and key art. We really like how this looks.

Blade does two things really well. First, it’s a pretty good tribute to early-to-mid 90s William/Bally tables. A clean, simple layout that flows really nice. Second, as stated above, this is a no doubt about it COMIC BOOK pin in the same way that Ed Kryinski’s Incredible Hulk (1979 Gottlieb) and Amazing Spider-Man (1980 Gottlieb) were. Blade isn’t anywhere near as good as Zen’s take on Spidey, but it’s a damn good table. Modes zip right on by after a couple shots, instead of the typical Zen grind. A novel monetary system allows you to buy a variety of upgrades, like kickbacks and extended ball save for the cowardly, or high-yielding scoring opportunities. Oh, and this could have easily been Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest Pinball. The table shifts from day to night and back again, with modes and bonuses exclusive to each. This could have come across as gimmicky, but it actually does work thanks to balancing what is and isn’t available during each cycle.

**Signature Feature – Day/Night Cycles**: All the missions (main modes) must be done during night by shooting the Lawlor Trail between the flippers, which is a shockingly tough shot. Night also has some of the best hurry-ups in Pinball FX, where you have to shoot specific lanes to slay vampires for money. The shop where you spend that money is only open during the day, along with the path to the valuable items. Our main knock with the day/night concept is that the clock for it is on the left slingshot. It would have been really great to have a separate ticking clock somewhere. Make it optional if people are afraid about ruining the purity of the visuals.

Blade’s layout looks conservative, but actually, it’s one of the more elegant and deceptively complex shooters we’ve seen from Zen. And that’s just the layout! The rules are very ambitious, with RPG-like mechanics such as stamina, money, upgrades, and collecting items. You build your Stamina (and avoid shots that drain it) so that you get more time to complete the modes. If there’s a problem with Blade, it’s that it’s the rare Zen table that doesn’t quite have enough shots. What shots are here are perfectly fine, but it can wear thin in extended play. It’s also very conservative in scoring, but without any of the balance that type of scoresheet requires. It makes Blade a table where shooting combos is just as exciting as making jackpots, which might not necessarily be a good thing because it means excitement doesn’t build. It’s incidental, and that’s before I get to an absurdly overpowered scoring device so wildly imbalanced that it broke my father and has me cracking up. It’s a whole new level of badly balanced.

**Signature Element – Citadel**: This mini-table is where you collect the items. This is one of those kinds where you have to poke the ball off the correct rail. It’s the second one from the bottom that you want to light (which is done via the spinner), though it’s also that item which completely throws Blade’s scoring balance out of whack. You’ll see why..

During a day cycle, the path between the flippers will take you to the Citadel instead of the mode start. Trust me, you’ll want to go here first. There’s four total items. One adds 100 points to every score, which is basically worthless. One cuts the cost of items in half, while one cuts the amount of mode start targets you need to hit in half. Those two are good ideas. The fourth and final item, Azu’s Belt, doubles all scoring permanently. Wow. Yea, that’s insane and I have no way to spin that where it makes any sense. It badly hurts Blade’s flexibility, because the only logical strategy to start the game is work towards getting the belt as soon as possible. I don’t think it’s a deal breaker, but it does sting quite a bit. While I think this does a better job than most at ambitious RPG-like gameplay, I kinda wish they’d just stuck with the old school gameplay with new-school surroundings layout. It’s one of my favorite designs, but Blade throws a lot at you and the results are more mixed than a table that shoots this well should be.
Special Consideration – Nintendo Switch: On Switch, Blade has orbits aimed straight at the drain, which doesn’t happen in the Primary Pinball FX builds. They need to fix this, since you need to hit those shots sometimes. Until then, we consider the Switch version to be ⚠OUT OF ORDER⚠
Cathy: GREAT (4 out of 5)
Angela: GREAT
Oscar: GOOD (3 out of 5)
Jordi: GREAT
Sasha: GOOD
Primary Scoring Average: 3.6 📜CERTIFIED EXCELLENT📜
Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for.

Black Rose (Pinball FX Table Review)

Black Rose
First Released July, 1992
Zen Build Released December 4, 2018
Main Platform: Pinball FX
Switch Platform: Pinball FX 3
Designed by John Trudeau and Brian Eddy
Conversion by Peter Horvath
Set: Williams Pinball Collection 1 ($23.99)
Links: Internet Pinball Database Listing – Strategy Guide – Pinball FX Wiki

Black Rose is the owner of what is, for my money, the second strangest layout among Williams pins in Pinball FX’s lineup. Space Station’s lack of an Italian Bottom sets it apart as #1, but the race for weirdness is a lot closer than you’d think. At least the rest of Space Station feels like traditional 80s style shot selection, ramps, and objectives. Black Rose is just flat-out bonkers with its sharp-angled ramps and tight squeezes, all packed into a very claustrophobic playfield. If I had never played Black Rose before Pinball FX, I’d have sworn this was a Zen original. It feels more like their modern design than any of the 90s pins in their library.

It was the Pinball Chick staff that was given the task of introducing Black Rose to the lineup to the new Pinball FX. We had a pretty decent pool to choose from, but Black Rose stood out. We enjoyed the task of hyping a table we weren’t necessarily in love with, but found admiration in nonetheless. Hell, Angela had it ranked BAD for Pinball FX3 and Pinball Arcade. At the time, she was still essentially a rookie to pinball. She fully admits now that, with a few years of pinball experience, she’d be more inclined to enjoy Black Rose, but she thinks the outlanes are too punishing for their own good. However, the new Pinball FX build is a little more manageable in that regard, leading to her revising her score. “It’s alright” was her new, unenthused opinion that she insisted not a single word be added to. That’s fair. Let’s face it, Black Rose is a very problematic pin. Horrible scoring balance (the Double Broadside mode is absurd). Little incentive to tour the table. Brutal multiballs that can end in the blink of an eye thanks to the lack of ball save. This isn’t a table for the faint of heart.

**Signature Element – The Cannon**: Do you know what I love most about the cannon? It’s the rare gimmicky element of the 1990s that doesn’t cause any interference during normal gameplay. You don’t have to shoot around it. You don’t have to factor it in at all when trying to make your shots. It’s wonderful.

On the other hand, I’m finally prepared to raise the GOOD score I awarded it to GREAT, because Black Rose looks and plays great on Pinball FX. The cannon is one of the great key shots of the early 90s, while the whirlpool ramp has grown on me over the years. I didn’t love it before. Now, I’ve come to appreciate how satisfying it is to fully charge its value. Also, in this new build, multiballs don’t feel like they clear each-other out to such an absurd degree as they did in Pinball FX3. Having now put more time into real life Black Rose tables, yea, that doesn’t really happen on a corporeal version. Multiball is much cleaner in real life, and while it’s not 100% there on Pinball FX, this build is more true to how a physical Black Rose shoots. Even with the improvements, Black Rose is still a bizarre and punishing table with unconventional angles and hungry outlanes. Oh and that Walk the Plank video mode can choke on a sea biscuit and die. As much fun as Black Rose is, it will always feel like a prototype for the type of Brian Eddy layout that would dominate the end of the arcade era of pinball. As far as proof of concepts go, it’s a good one, but it’s mostly just a taste of better pins that would happen thanks to it.
Cathy: GREAT (GOOD on Pinball FX3)
Angela: GOOD (BAD on Pinball FX3)
Oscar: GOOD
Jordi: GREAT
Dash: GREAT
Sasha: GREAT
Elias: GREAT (Pinball FX3)
Dave: GREAT (Pinball FX3)
Overall Scoring Average: 3.75 📜CERTIFIED EXCELLENT📜
Primary Scoring Average: 3.66 📜CERTIFIED EXCELLENT📜
Pinball FX3 Scoring Average: 3.16 – GOOD
Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for.