Monster Bash
First Released July, 1998
Zen Build Released October 29, 2019
Main Platform: Pinball FX
Switch Platform: Pinball FX 3
Designed by George Gomez
Conversion by Peter “Deep” Grafl
Set: Universal Monsters Pack ($6.99)

Monster Bash was created to be a table simple enough anyone could get into it but deep enough that anyone could get REALLY into it. So, it’s arguable that this table’s journey from conception to reality is one of the most successful the medium has ever seen, because it accomplished every goal George Gomez set out to complete. If you want to learn more, I interviewed George here. Monster Bash is so instantly charming that you forget that it’s actually one of the tougher shooters Williams had in the DMD era. I imagine this must have been popular with what few operators were still installing pins in their arcades in 1998. We’ve had games that ended shockingly quickly, given our skill levels.

Most problematic is right orbit, where a rolling ball sometimes lightly grazes the inactive Dracula toy, giving it enough bounce to give you a house ball right down the middle of the drain. This happened so much that a house ball is all but guaranteed over the course of a normal three ball game, which is why Dad and Angela dropped their scores to GREAT and refused to budge until Zen fixes this. It became quite the argument, especially since this can happen in real Monster Bash tables. In fact, people have been known to cut the toes off the Dracula toy to prevent it. Angela took the “Spirit of the Table” argument: this should not happen in any video version, because this phenomena was never George Gomez’s intention, and that the infamous “toe clip” is a byproduct of the mechanism not working as intended, so Zen’s conversion should have no collision with the toes. My argument is the “reality of a real table” argument: whether intended or not, it happens in real life and game designers don’t intend all kinds of things that ultimately factor into gameplay. While I’m all for fixing old games, in the case of Monster Bash, Dracula’s toes are one of those bugs that have risen to the level of becoming legitimately part of the table’s lore.

Since I guess I’m starting with the negatives, what is up with those ramps? My father compared that left ramp to Wile E. Coyote’s giant slingshot contraption, where the coyote catches himself in the sling and he always has enough time to look into the camera with that wide-eyed “uh-oh” look before being launched backwards to his doom. Again, it’s hard to complain because this happens on real Monster Bash tables, but in the wacky world of video game adaptations of real tables, sometimes those rejections sure feel like they were hit cleanly enough and with enough force to clear the ramp and it still rejects. Since Zen’s physics have so much side-spin (I lost count of how many times we’ve said “didn’t you think video pinball physics would be better by 2024?” playing this table), sometimes it feels like a made-shot gets cancelled by physics engine quirks. The right ramp, on the other hand, is much easier to clear even when you shank a shot and it seems like it should be a rejection. You’d swear the two ramps each had their own unique physics engine.

And, that’s pretty much everything we can complain about, except we all note that this table is bad for blood pressure because there’s just so many house balls, rejections, or bad breaks that scores feel capped by the ball doing something weird. Oh, and timing never feels consistent. When we were dueling for high scores, sometimes it feels like the “overtime” for a mode ends instantly, and other times we’d scream bloody murder when someone scored a final hit well after time felt like time should have expired. So, why the hell do the rest of us have this as a MASTERPIECE? It sure seems like we have a lot to complain about, right? Well, I think Monster Bash is a MASTERPIECE because how many tables can say that nearly every single shot, and every single angle, is a joy to shoot?

Since the modes stack and any active mode stays active during multiball, Monster Bash is relatively grind-free. Best of all is the scoring is so finely-tuned that it feels scientific, at least before you factor in how overvalued just activating Monsters of Rock is. The truly great and deeply missed Lyman Sheats Jr. did the scoresheet, and along with the rules for Attack From Mars and Medieval Madness, Monster Bash’s scoresheet is Sheats’ masterwork. The two tiers of Wizard Modes and how those modes work is particularly genius. Fully completing any one mode lights that monster’s instrument. Light EVERY instrument and you get “Monsters of Rock” with massive payouts. So massive that I question the wisdom of having such a large point bonus just for starting the mode. On the plus side, the journey to getting to Monsters of Rock is so open to variation that it lends itself PERFECTLY towards creating your own strategy. I’m a fan of just trying to get as many normal Monster Bash wizards and extra balls as possible. Angela preferred to get as many monsters as possible to the VERGE of their mode starting, then lightning either Frankenstein OR Monster Bash itself and using the multiball to light instruments. She was the only one of us who could consistently get Monsters of Rock, so hey, maybe she’s onto something.

The other big reason to put Monster Bash in the elite category is because it’s a table that builds your confidence like no other pinball machine does. It mostly does this via being surprisingly generous with its extra balls. One is gotten just by lightning half the modes, which takes maybe a minute. This even works on your second cycle of modes, after you’ve already done a Monster Bash. Wha? Really? That’s awesome! Also, the replay extra ball is set to a fairly low 60,000,000 points, cherry bombing twelve shots up the middle channel lights an extra ball (thirty will too, but I’ve never done THAT good) and lighting four out of six instruments lights the special. Hell, if your first ball dies quickly, or especially your first two, it’s likely the mystery hole will award an extra ball. Sometimes the mystery hole just gives you an extra ball even if you’re putting up a massive score. Angela was given so many bullsh*t extra balls that there was nearly a riot in my home. There’s no point in doing a Vice Versus section for Monster Bash. We dueled 31 games. She won 29 of them. The best thing I can say about Monster Bash is, even getting dominated during the dueling, I don’t remember my family having as much fun as we’ve had playing Monster Bash the last couple weeks. If the ramps were just a teeny tiny bit less rejection heavy, or if the right orbit didn’t just randomly feed the drain, or especially if Monsters of Rock didn’t have such an absurdly high auto-payout before you even start shooting for scores, I’d call Monster Bash the best pin ever. Few tables personify “fun for all ages” quite like it.
Cathy: MASTERPIECE (5/5)
Angela: GREAT (4/5)
Oscar: GREAT
Jordi: MASTERPIECE
Dash: MASTERPIECE
Dave: MASTERPIECE (Pinball FX 3)
Elias: MASTERPIECE (Pinball FX3)
Sasha: MASTERPIECE
Scoring Average: 4.75 – MASTERPIECE
🏛️THE PINBALL CHICK PANTHEON OF DIGITAL PINBALL INDUCTEE🏛️
N00b Factor: The frequent houseballs might frustrate newcomers, but Monster Bash was also created specifically to appeal to players of all skill sets with simple angles and rules. It largely succeeds in this and is one of THE great casual tables that can also remain fun as players gain skill.
Verdict: At only $6.99, the Universal Monster Pack is a must-buy Pinball FX pack for newcomers interested in learning pinball. Creature of the Black Lagoon makes for a decent if unspectacular throw-in bonus with it.
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