Dr. Dude and His Excellent Ray First Released August 29, 1990 Zen Build Released October 20, 2020
Main Platform: Pinball FX Designed by Dennis Nordman Conversion by Zoltan Vari Set: Williams Pinball Collection 2 ($23.99)
Links: Internet Pinball Database Listing – Strategy Guide – Pinball FX Wiki
Sasha looked at me like my head was on backwards when she found out I rated the Pinball Arcade version “MASTERPIECE.” I’m not doing a bit here for comedy. She thought we were kidding. “THIS table? Dr. Dude? You think THIS is a top tier table? Maybe it’s better when the physics don’t kick the ball out of the Mix Master after a couple bumps, but even then, a MASTERPIECEshould be reserved for a table with flexible strategies. Dr. Dude doesn’t have that except for the order you check off the three main shots to light the mix master. The shots are fun, so I could see going GREAT, but this isn’t a MASTERPIECE, ever.” Everyone else and Dave backed her up. You’re all wrong and I’m right so pooey to you.
Much like the Pinball FX 3 version, Dr. Dude still features a ball that could go straight down the drain off a plunge. No ball save. The awesome series of sequence shots is hard to appreciate when you don’t even get a swing at the ball. It’s why Dr. Dude and his Excellent Ray is one of the few Pinball FX tables where I still prefer the now decade-old Pinball Arcade release. It’s just more forgiving, with a nudge that’s much better at defending against this type of thing. This isn’t a table for the faint of heart, with brutal difficulty and hair-raising angles. Oh, and the Dude-o-Meter doesn’t carry over between games, so you can’t even hit the Gazillion Point Shot unless you start the multiball five times in one game, an especially tough task for a table this heartless, with a key shot (the Magnetic Personality) that isn’t easy to lock onto.
Having recently played a real Dr. Dude AND the Pinball Arcade version, I was reminded of how fun Dr. Dude can be. It’s one of my favorite underrated tables. But on Pinball FX, the Mix Master is significantly less likely to hold a ball. A reminder that, as much as we admire Zen Studios, the engine for Pinball FX is lousy. Sorry, it just is. Real tables do not behave this way, and it wasn’t rare to have the ball pass through it doing only a single bump per shot. The physics are just too heavy whether you play classic, pro, or arcade.
The good news is Dr. Dude still has one of the best “awesome shot” to “meh shot” ratios of any alpha-numeric table. Nobody can ever accuse it of being boring. The key shots that actually matter are too exciting for that. Do you know what Dr. Dude reminds me of? An old, dependable car that puts up a fight when you turn on the ignition. The tricky part is just getting it started. Once you do, you know it’ll get you where you need to be. Once you find your rhythm in Dr. Dude, you’re in for one of the most satisfying pins of the late alpha-numeric era, where every shot, and even the act of trapping the ball, is rewarding. Despite being one of the few times Zen didn’t handily defeat the efforts of Farsight doesn’t matter all that much. Dr. Dude is still really good. We’re giving it an award and everything! But it’s a table I’m willing to rate MASTERPIECEand accept all the eye rolls in the world for, and I can’t for this build. It’s just not the best digital build modern gaming technology can do. Or 2010’s technology, for that matter. Cathy: GREAT (4 out of 5)
Sasha the Kid: GOOD (3 out of 5) Angela: GOOD Oscar: GREAT
Jordi: GREAT Dash: GREAT
Dave: GOOD (Played on Nintendo Switch)
Elias: GOOD (Played on Nintendo Switch)
Primary Scoring Average: 3.66 CERTIFIED EXCELLENT
Nintendo Switch Average: 3.5 🧹CLEAN SCORECARD🧹
Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for.
UPDATE: Dave Sanders, our resident designer/expert, believes what happened in this clip is what’s called a “slam tilt.” Basically, Zen Studios made the shaking too violent and too non-stop. Even though the game is a simulation of a real table, they accounted for the tilt mechanism, and since it shakes more than a real life table, it activated the slam tilt which reboots the ROM back to the attract screen. Zen, you need to disable the slam tilt in the ROM.
How’s this for quick thoughts on Earthshaker for Pinball FX? This is literally the second game we’d played of Earthshaker. Two games in, and this happened:
Two games and doing nothing but playing the table and hitting shots caused the ROM to reset back to the attract screen, ending the game. We’re not the only ones who have experienced this either. Does anyone play test at Zen Studios anymore? Black Knight 2000 and Banzai Run both are supposed to give you an extra ball when you score 4.5 Million (Black Knight) or 1.8 million (Banzai Run). Neither extra ball happens. It takes like, at most, ten minutes of average skill gameplay to find that out. This is getting so tiring. You know, Zen Studios, maybe it’s not just the double dipping on pricing of legacy tables or pinball pass that caused the users to evaporate. Maybe casual fans are annoyed that they buy the tables NOW but they won’t be in full working order until later. And even that’s not a certainty. I mean, it’s been how long since Sky Pirates released? Or Jurassic World, which dumps balls straight down the drain. So this Earthshaker glitch doesn’t surprise me. I want to say “I expect better from Zen Studios.” It’s what I would have said in 2020. I wouldn’t say it anymore, because I don’t expect better from them. This is exactly what I expect.
This is a tailspin I don’t see Zen pulling out of because all signs point to it getting worse and worse. With this crash from Earthshaker, all three Williams 8 tables have super frustrating annoyances (the missing extra balls in the previous tables really lessen the enjoyment of those pins makes it feel like Zen simply does not give a f*ck). Nobody wants to bitch about glitches. I don’t. I love Zen Studios’ pinball. But a non-working game is a non-working game, and I don’t want to invest time in any table that has a random chance of ending in the middle of the game. I’ve lost world record games to glitches before, and because I contend on leaderboards, that really feels like a punch to the gut. That’s the whole point, right? To score a lot of points? And yet, I’ve experienced more anger from Pinball FX “fans” than I have any sense of comradery. I don’t get this “so what if it’s glitchy?” mentality. This is the same company that got pissy at content creators who were using Visual Pinball and PinMAME because it was stealing games they owned the right to, for free. But the paid product Zen offers is unstable and kind of bad these days. Especially when new tables come out. To you “fans” who get angry at any glitch report, I ask you “do you want Zen Studios to go belly-up?” Because studios that can’t put out working games don’t last. No matter how long they’ve been around. Getting angry at people reporting bugs is like an automotive fan getting angry at the driver because their car spontaneously exploded while driving down the freeway. What are you mad at THEM for when they were just doing what the product is supposed to do?
Hey everyone, and sorry for the lack of pinball updates. The Christmas season was a busy one, but this weekend we’re going to sit down and play the three new tables for Pinball FX more in-depth and begin posting new pinball reviews here. We already put quality time into Black Knight 2000.
In Pinball Arcade, Black Knight was in my top 10 (out of 100 tables). It’s not in the top ten for Pinball FX. The physics are just too.. wrong. In real life, balls do not rev-up just by touching a flipper that’s attempting to perform a trap and bounce to the left. They just don’t, but Zen Studios seems bound and determined to prevent ball control above all else. It’s like they have some kind of moral objection to the way pinball is played and change ball behavior to prevent high-level play. But their tables are never better for it. I have no idea why they did that, but I miss being able to do basic pinball moves like, you know, catching the ball. It speaks volumes to how strong a table Black Knight 2000 is that it’s still going to be Certified Excellent, but it’s nowhere near as good as the Pinball Arcade build. I’m rating it GREAT, and so are the rest of my family except Sasha, who rated it MASTERPIECEand thinks this is one of the best Williams pins on FX. She also put up the #13 score on PRO mode on the leaderboards. The 9 year old absolutely demolished us in the duel we had. A rematch is coming, and vengeance shall be ours. Plus, we’ll be playing Banzai Run and Earthshaker.
Golly, Banzai Run’s vertical mode has some lightning-fast physics. I played a couple rounds when it launched and I’m terrified to return.
Civil War First Released November 21, 2012 Main Platform: Pinball FX Switch Platform: Unreleased Designed by Mate Szeplaki Set: Marvel Pinball Collection 2 ($29.99 MSRP)
Links: Strategy Guide – Pinball FX Wiki
You can tell that the designer was a big fan of the Steve Ritchie classic F-14 Tomcat. Civil War’s center shot pays tribute to the Jagov Kicker from that table. Of course, that table didn’t feel like the outlanes were total serial killers. This one has too much aggression which in turn feeds the slingshots, which feed the outlanes.
Civil War makes me sad, because this should have been one of the best of the Marvel pins. It has some of the most satisfying shots around, with two ramp flippers that completes a delightful shot sequence. God darn it, Civil War is a memorable table with fantastic shot selection. So, why is it among the worst of the Marvel pins? It’s all in the mechanics that are outside of the shots themselves. This is one of those “story-driven” tables that starts with a two ball multiball. There’s no ball save, so about oh, one in three games will end before you even get one single shot at either ball because the balls enter the playfield aggressively, takes a couple bounces or bangs off the slingshots and goes down the outlanes. That applies to every single multiball. Sure, the ball save is on every time but that opening cinematic multiball, but that just means you’ll get to witness the balls have a parade from the chute to the outlane in a way that reminded my father of people riding a water over and over. The VUKs are some of those “blast the ball like a bat out of hell” ones that are so annoying, and there’s two of them that can point at the flippers and slingshots and do that cannon-blast at them. You shouldn’t have to hold your breath for a VUK. You just shouldn’t.
Signature Element – Auto-Shooting: Years and years before Zen’s Knight Rider wowed players with automatic shooting, Civil War was already doing it. When you build up a combo, the CPU takes control and makes a series of shots for you. It hits every shot too. It almost feels like one of those moments in a Sonic game where the character goes off a series of launchers and springs and you, the player, don’t have to touch anything to make it happen. It actually works really well, but everything comes back to those VUKs and slingshots ruining all the fun.
If not for those VUKs, plus overly hostile slingshots, I think this would be hands-down the best of the “Avengers” series of pins. The layout is so good and every shot so rewarding to hit. The modes are great too. Civil War has a fairly ambitious concept of choosing between Iron Man and Captain America and then recruiting 8 other heroes to join your side. You’ll want to play this one using the vertical table view, because sometimes the Iron Man and Captain America digital figures block the view of which shot is lit. This does everything you need to be fun, but on a table with VUKs and slingshots as hostile as Civil War has, it’s all for naught. The slingshots are aimed right out the outlanes, and since the VUKs fire the ball so fast and so violently at the flippers, it’s inevitable the slingshots will come into play. Civil War is one of those pins where it feels like lucky bounces factor in so much more than any amount of skill. Someone should have stepped in and told the designer “the way you’re doing this isn’t better for the table. It just makes it worse with no benefit.” So Civil War is actually pretty crappy, and it didn’t have to be. Instead of being the best Avengers pin, it’s the poster child for Zen needing to go back and redo the mechanics of the old pins. No bad pin has a clearer path towards winning a Certificate of Excellence quite like it. Cathy: BAD Angela: BAD Oscar: BAD Jordi: BAD Sasha: BAD Overall Scoring Average: 2.0 – BAD
Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for.
Captain America First Released June 28, 2011 Main Platform: Pinball FX Switch Platform: Pinball FX Designed by Viktor Gyorei Set: Marvel Pinball Collection 1 ($23.99)
Links: Strategy Guide – Pinball FX Wiki
Kickback – Sasha (Before Cathy changed her vote to GOOD): Of the two World War II-themed tables in Pinball FX, I like Captain America a lot more than I like Brothers in Arms. Cap isn’t as difficult and better mimics a table that feels like you’re sneaking around a battlefield. The knock-about capture ball is perfectly used in the Sparring mode, and while I might be alone, I think the Adhesive X mode is unique and fun. The bumpers probably shouldn’t be as hard to get to as they are and the skill shot is confusing and weak, but I like Captain America. Why wasn’t this in the Arcade1Up?
I wanted to love Captain America. I love the comics. I love the movies. I’m a pro Superman and Captain America weirdo who likes an unambiguous goodie two shoes in comics. Eventually I grew to tolerate Zen’s pinball take on Cap, but it took a couple years and a niece who likes this pin a lot more than I do to convince me I was wrong about it. It just feels haphazard. I can only think of one table that I valleyed more balls while trying to shoot a loop and that’s Ripley’s Believe it or Not! for Pinball Arcade (Dead by Daylight on Pinball M has since joined those ranks). The giant ramp on the left side of the table is one of the most rejection heavy in Pinball FX, and that sucks because it looks so cool. Captain America is also one of the most damning offenders of Zen going overboard on animations and “screwing around” as sometimes the wait to start shooting again when you start a mode is agonizing. Even worse: when you get the ball back, every single table light ripples for a brief moment while you’re trying to figure out what the actual, lit targets are, and frankly there’s too many modes that take too many shots.
Signature Mode – Ambush: Reminding me of an old boardwalk type of mechanical novelty game, the object of this is to use your shield to block the balls. The incoming one is lit, and it might actually be the easiest mini-game among the Marvel pins.
It’s not a total wash, as the idea of rescuing the Howling Commandos, each of whom adds a unique buff to the gameplay, is one I’d like to see more of. Unlike the buffs in Blade, only one is equipped at time, and even better, these ones are actually very well balanced. Even one that does a 30x score multiplier isn’t over-powered because it only applies to target shots and not mode points. The buffs are that good kind of maddening, because each is enticing enough that it’s actually something you have to weigh risk/reward instead of the choice being so self-evident that you’d be a fool to choose anything else. I also like that you have to shoot the knock-about capture ball to shuffle through the Commandos you’ve earned. That’s the best shot on the table. It never gets old. The buff system, along with a few genuinely fun shots, carried Captain America over the finish line for me. Even with kickbacks literally aimed at the slingshots, which themselves are aimed at the drain. Cap features a couple pretty decent modes, like shooting the knock-about to simulate a fist fight with Red Skull. It actually does feel like the pinball version of punching a lot more than Champion Pub. Yea, Captain America is pretty janky, but it’s almost endearing for it. Which isn’t to say they should try for jank in the future. If not for the jank, Captain might be the best Marvel pin instead of being near the bottom of my GOOD pile. Cathy: GOOD (3 out of 5) Angela: BAD (2 out of 5) Oscar: BAD Jordi: BAD
Sasha: GOOD
Overall Scoring Average: 2.4 – BAD
Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for.
Calrissian Chronicles aka Lando First Released September 12, 2018 Main Platform: Pinball FX Switch Platform: Star Wars Pinball Designed by Thomas Crofts Set: Star Wars Pinball Collection 2 ($23.99)
Links: Strategy Guide – Pinball FX Wiki
It looks like it’s going to be so fun, but it’s one of the most frustrating, annoying, and polarizing pins in the Star Wars lineup.
Lando is the proud owner of some of the most lethal rails in the sport. Rails so lethal that even made shots could be killed by them if the ball drops uncleanly out of the habitrail. It turns a lot of people off the table, while others adore that it’s among the most lifelike tables Zen has ever done. At times, it almost feels like it was made by an entirely different company. No Star Wars pin has a ball that feels so heavy, and with that comes huge satisfaction watching a successful shot glide gracefully around an orbit. Of course, that doesn’t cancel-out watching the ball fall lifelessly into the drain after hitting the dead-center capture ball at the top of the screen, or the agony of seeing a successful lit-shot wobble out of the chute, dance off the rails and then drain down the left outlane. I couldn’t forgive it for that last one. It just happened too many times for me.
Persistent Problem – Rejections: Even the fans of Lando will concede that it’s frustrating to shoot a ball in a way where, by all logic and reason, it should easily clear the orbit and it doesn’t. I’m a lot more frustrated with my family than I am with the table itself, because I don’t see how they can admit it does this and still defend it. But they do. Angela especially is a big Lando fan, plays it recreationally outside of our Pinball FX review stuff, and has held records on it (and she’s still the Distance Challenge Undisputed World Champion as of this writing).
Lando is probably the most polarizing of all Zen tables. Usually, when we split our votes as a group, it’s done so in tiny degrees. For Lando, there was a big gap between us, at least until Sasha came along. I told her “you’re going to be a diplomat when you grow up.” She asked what a diplomat does, and I said “honestly I don’t have a clue but people respect them!” You either love Calrissian Chronicles or you hate it. I hated it. Jordi did. Elias really did. Too brutal. Too unfair. Too many rejections. And on top of everything wrong with how it shoots, some of the modes have the Millennium Falcon and even TIE Fighters flying all over the screen like an antsy kid waving their hands in front of the screen. It’s so distracting and just plain annoying. I think you can add characters and story to a table without distracting from the shots. All of Zen’s best pins do exactly that. Meanwhile, Dad and Angela love Lando. They love the layout. They love the elegant combo-shooting (something my love of is purely hypothetical and based on the shots actually working right), and the unique physics. It seems to have a slope angle that no other Star Wars pin has, or they have an entire different gravity setting just for it. Meanwhile, Sasha is just kicking up her feet and laughing at us for making such a to-do over such a middling pin. Say what you will about Lando, but it sure sparks interesting debate, doesn’t it? Cathy: BAD (2 out of 5) Angela: GREAT (4 out of 5) Oscar: GREAT Jordi: BAD
Sasha: GOOD (3 out of 5)
Elias: THE PITS (1 out of 5, Star Wars Pinball)
Overall Scoring Average: 2.6* – OKAY
Primary Pinball FX Scoring Average: 3.0 – GOOD
*Nintendo Switch version is, more or less, identical to all other platforms.
Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for.
Battlestar Galactica
Pinball FX Debuting Pin First Released May 16, 2024 Main Platform: Pinball FX Switch Platform: Pinball FX Designed by Andras “Babar” Klujber Set: Universal TV Classics ($14.99)
Okay, okay, I admit it. When the Universal TV Classics pack was announced, I rolled my eyes so much that I could see the wrinkles in my brain. But, they ended up with three pins that felt like they came from a place of inspiration. Statistically speaking, this is the lowest ranked of the three, and it just won a Clean Scorecard (excluding Switch). That really tells you how good that set is, even if I didn’t care for Knight Rider at all.
In terms of layout, Battlestar is in an elite class. It flows really well and any one shot can transition seamlessly to any other. Even better is the table’s toughest shot, the ramp leading to the Cylon, is tough enough and risky enough that it becomes satisfying to hit, and it does this without resorting to cheapshots. I just wish the rules were a lot less confusing. There’s too many non-essential lights going at once. While this might lend itself better to making your own strategy, it also makes it more difficult for newcomers to use lights to complete modes. The decision to have so many mini-modes that stack with main modes, in a table this visually loud, might not have been the wisest. Otherwise, the atmosphere is spot-on with the various color-coded room lights that change the tone and feel of the pin. That should have been enough without piling on the added distractions of too many mini-modes.
Signature Element – Mood Lighting: One of the unique aspects of Battlestar is that the colors change depending on the mode you’re playing. It works pretty good, too. It gives Battlestar that cheesy space opera quality you’d hope for if you’re going to develop this kind of licensed pin.
While the layout is solid, we all struggled to become more enthused about Battlestar. Even Oscar, who was a big fan of the show, struggled to put into words why the table just feels kind of middle-of-the-pack, ultimately settling on the pin feels kind of directionless. Which is ironic because the most memorable mode is shooting orbits to aim a ship at the right coordinates and then hit the FTL hole to make it travel. It’s solid. The whole table is solid, and hell, it’s even one of the ultra-rare Zen original designs that doesn’t have Jerk’s Point on the outlanes. Of course, “solid” is usually the word I use to describe something that’s certainly good, but nothing special. It feels like everything here is technically well developed to the point that it’s hard to find too much to complain about, even if I’m not having as much fun as it seems like I should be having. Solid. Oh, and there’s also some minor scoring imbalances tied to some high-yielding bumper scoring bursts that pay-off more than most modes. Battlestar is decent. It’s not there yet. It’s GOOD, so say we all. They told me I had to use that line so I assume Battlestar fans get it. I’ve never seen the show, but judging from the older people here (Dash and Oscar) who have, I’m guessing it wouldn’t help. Cathy: GOOD Angela: GOOD Oscar: GOOD
Jordi: GOOD Dash: GOOD Sasha: GOOD
Elias: BAD (Nintendo Switch) Primary Scoring Average: 3.0🧹CLEAN SCORECARD🧹
Nintendo Switch Scorecard: 2.8 – GOOD
Overall Scoring Average: 2.85 – GOOD Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for.
Avengers: Age of Ultron
First Released April 22, 2015 Main Platform: Pinball FX Switch Platform: Unreleased on Nintendo Switch Designed by Tamas “Ypok” Pokrocz Set: Marvel Pinball Collection 2 ($29.99)
Links: Strategy Guide – Pinball FX Wiki
Age of Ultron is a table that tries to be everything, and it fails to accomplish much of anything. We love the Xenon-like tube across the center, though.
Age of Ultron is so prohibitively difficult and so joyless to play that I wondered “were they just in a bad mood when they made this? Were they deliberately making a table designed to not be any fun at all?” If I had to describe Age of Ultron in one word, it would be “hateful.” The ball save is completely worthless because it annoyingly blasts the ball out of the drain like a bat out of hell that’s just as likely to almost immediately drain out anyway. Why even have a ball save if you want to be a complete asshole about it? The decorated balls of the first Avengers table return, but only for multiball modes. What’s annoying is that the physics completely change when the colored balls factor in. You can feel it during the cinematic “prelude” mode. It’s a maddening two-ball multiball, on one of those tables designed specifically to run poorly for multiball and have the balls clear each-other out. There’s no penalty for losing, but pay close attention when you do. The surviving ball transforms into a normal steel pinball, and the physics completely change, the balls stop running like they’ve been dipped in grease, and you no longer need superhero-like reflexes. The colored balls are especially suicidal, running across the rails and down the outlane like they’re opting-out of the superhero life.
Signature Mode – Hawk’s Nest: In this video mode, you have limited ammo to take down as many incoming Ultron Sentries as possible. I don’t know what it says about Age of Ultron that our favorite mode has nothing to do with pinball. Nothing good, I imagine.
Mind you, this is one of the only tables that has “adjustable difficulty” which is so erroneous that it feels like it’s being said with a snicker.You’d also be a fool to play on EASY, which scores significantly less points, with little “ease” gained besides, I think, more time for modes. The fact that I couldn’t really tell the difference says it all. However, on the medium setting, I had some hurry-ups where I never even had a remote chance at playing the ball, as the countdown began and ended with the ball still slowly traversing various elements. I don’t get my father’s enjoyment of Age of Ultron at all. For me, it’s too punishing and asks too much of players. A lot of Zen balls overdo modes, difficulty, etc. You can see it on the relatively low-scoring leaderboards. What frustrates me about Age of Ultron is that it’s a potential masterpiece-level table. Satisfying combo shots. Awesome homage to Xenon with the tube across the upper playfield. All the pieces were here, but it was more important for the designer to show how hard he could make a table instead of letting players, you know, have fun. Zen would never scrap one of their pins and start over, but they should consider it with Age of Ultron. Drop a city on this one. Cathy: BAD (2 out of 5) Angela: BAD Oscar: BAD
Jordi: BAD
Sasha: BAD
Overall Scoring Average: 2.0 – BAD
Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for.
World Cup Soccer First Released February, 1994 Zen Build Released October 20, 2022 Main Platform: Pinball FX Switch Platform: Pinball FX Designed by John Popadiuk Conversion by Zoltan ’Pazo’ Pataki Stand Alone Release ($9.99) Link to Strategy Guide
A lot of tables use sports themes, but few are as good at creating a real tie to athletic competition quite like World Cup.
UPDATE: The Nintendo Switch has been patched and tables are working the way they’re supposed to. Well, except this one. Read below.
World Cup’s inclusion in Pinball FX was a revelation for me. No filing the serial numbers off and calling it “World Champion Soccer” for Zen Studios. They went out and got the World Cup deal signed. It’s a sign that no license is out of bounds. At this point, there’s only one Williams/Bally pin I’d be stunned for Zen to actually get a deal made for, and that’s for 1997’s NBA Fastbreak. I don’t even necessarily think you NEED the license for a table like World Cup. Farsight turned it into a generic soccer theme and it was fine, and Zen already outdid them in the way that matters a lot more: their conversion is just plain better. Pinball Arcade’s take on this classic had an especially brutal left ramp. As a late-stage release, they never got around to fixing it. Zen got it right from the start. A slapshot that enters the ramp cleanly will not result in a rejection, which could happen in Pinball Arcade. When a rejection does happen, it feels intuitive. Like “yep, that one wasn’t good.” That by itself makes a BIG difference and turns a middling digital pin into a very fun one.
“What are we going to do for the ‘enhanced graphics’ on World Cup? What do you mean you don’t have any ideas? Okay, screw it. Do we have any unused graphics from other tables? Whirlwind does? Use it!”
The big news is my father, who is NOT a fan of John Popadiuk, has awarded World Cup Soccer MASTERPIECEstatus. Most of us don’t agree. Dad’s argument is the following four points. (1) World Cup is focused on ball control that rewards carefully setting up your shots and (2) instead of the entire scoresheet offering strategic flexibility, World Cup offers shot selection flexibility. In other words, modes and goals come out in a specific order, but most of the modes can be done via different shots. Take multiball for example. While making a goal is the jackpot, you can shoot either ramp or the saucer in front of the goal to re-light the jackpot. (3) This is the most balanced-scoring Popadiuk table. (4) Every shot is fun.
The goal is one of the all-time great pinball shots. Adding shots that target the goalie was a stroke of genius.
On point #1, while I agree that “ball control” is the primary gameplay theme of World Cup, I don’t think you necessarily need to slow down the pace to play World Cup well. I think that this is a table where converting rebounds to quick shots matters a great deal. There’s plenty of time-sensitive scoring opportunities where you can’t always just grab a trap and wait for the perfect shot. Oscar had a chance to prove his way was right and he only won 2 out of 14 match-ups against us. The shooting area between the flippers and the goal is tight, which makes it hard to juggle a multiball. I think quick, efficient shots matter, or in my case, just shooting for volume and hoping for the best. He’s probably right on his other three points, depending on how you feel about Cirqus Voltaire’s scoring. While World Cup heavily back-ends points via end of ball bonuses, you do actually have to work for those bonuses. Hell, you have to activate them by scoring goals, which is AWESOME. This might be my favorite way of doing end-of-ball scoring. More importantly, the four bonuses require you to tour the table since one is tied to the ramps, one to the spinner, one to the bumpers, and one to the goalie.
The magna-save is particularly worthless. It doesn’t catch anything, at least in Pinball FX.
World Cup Soccer IS a ton of fun, but it’s not perfect. This is where my lack of familiarity with real life World Cup Soccer pins comes into play, because I’m not entirely sure how powerful the magna-save is in real life. On Pinball FX, it isn’t strong enough to stop any ball you know is going to go straight down the drain. In fact, I don’t think I ever once used it to affect. On the other hand, the outlanes were well handled. I don’t think the right one was particularly lethal, as I was able to use a slight nudge to defend it. My biggest problem is so nit-picky I feel guilty for saying it: it takes too long for World Cup to spit out the third ball during multiball. I’ve had instances where I made a jackpot, relit the jackpot, and was shooting the second jackpot before the third ball came out. Usually, it released at the least opportune time. For a table that leans so heavily into multiball, this sure ain’t a very good multiball table. I didn’t REALLY start to do well until I stole my father’s “use only two balls during the wizard” tactic. Which eventually led to me hitting the buzzer beater to end all buzzer beaters and claiming the distance challenge record on Xbox (and #3 overall). Otherwise, this is a table where the #1 challenge is trying to prevent the frequent multiballs from clearing each-other out.
I just found out the dog’s name is “Striker.”
For me, I think World Cup is the definitive “amazing, but something just doesn’t work for me” pin. I might not be super familiar with real life World Cup pins, but I do remember the ball reacting more violently to the giant spinning ball. In this adaptation, it rarely factors into the gameplay in a meaningful way, except maybe preventing the occasional straight-down-the-middle plunge. Maybe. Angela doesn’t think it spins fast enough. Either way, I think it’s just a big waste of real estate that shrinks the playfield in a way that doesn’t feel true to the sport. Soccer fields are big and wide. This sucker is downright cramped. Because it’s a defensive-oriented pin that puts a high premium on rebounding, World Cup feels more sporty than most pins. It just doesn’t necessarily feel like the right sport. (Sasha made a good point: while a soccer field is wide and vast, the ACTION itself is usually packed into a tiny space and the main defensive strategy of soccer is to give your opponent as little room to maneuver as possible, thus making World Cup Soccer true to the sport. I admit, she has a point!) Oh, I still enjoy it. The goal is an all-timer in the annals of pinball. It’s NEVER not a joy to hit that shot, but World Cup has a few other great shots. Both ramps are satisfying to shoot, and it has one of the better uses of a spinner out there. This is a GREATtable. I just wish it didn’t feel so suffocating with its narrowness.
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UPDATE – Nintendo Switch: Following the big update, we’re now ready to say that World Cup on Nintendo Switch is probably Zen’s worst translation of a real life pin, well, ever. The angles are all wrong. Compare shooting the goal on any of Zen’s other versions of World Cup Soccer to their Nintendo Switch version and you can immediately feel the difference. It’s just all wrong. You actually can’t really aim at the goal. Popping a straight-up shot is not THAT difficult of a shot, but it’s nearly impossible to make it on Switch, and that’s just the start of the problems. The saucer above the left flipper constantly throws the ball straight down the drain. We really hoped these things would be fixed following the update. Honestly, I think the saucer is more lethal now than ever. It shouldn’t be lethal at all. Meanwhile, the flippers feel like they don’t have enough strength. There’s no punch off of them. This is a really horrible effort. Honestly, a rating of BAD is being VERY generous.
Cathy: GREAT (4/5) – BAD on SWITCH (2/5) Angela: GREAT – BAD on SWITCH Oscar: MASTERPIECE – BAD on SWITCH Jordi: GREAT (4/5) Dash: GREAT (4/5) Sasha: MASTERPIECE (5/5) – GOOD on SWITCH (3/5) Dave: GOOD on SWITCH Scoring Average: 4.14 – GREAT Nintendo Switch Scoring Average: 2.4 – BAD 📜Awarded a Certificate of Excellence📜 N00b Factor: Even though it has fewer shots than some pins, what shots are here use simple, easy to learn angles. World Cup can be a pretty difficult pin to get used to, but it’s excellent for training rebounding and ball control skills. When you miss the goalie, the ball is going to come back down at an unpredictable angle, and learning to catch a ball and bring it under your control is just about the most valuable skill you can have in pinball. This is also a game that’s VERY generous with extra ball opportunities. Verdict: An excellent “difficult shooter” starter pin.
VICE VERSUS
You know, for a table themed around sports, World Cup Soccer sure isn’t very good as a versus table. The #1 requirement of such a table is that it’s fun to watch someone else play, and World Cup really isn’t outside of multiball or the wizard. The way the wizard is handled is pretty much tailor-made for excitement and cheers. Only one time did any of us “blowout” Germany during the wizard, and that was when Oscar won 7 to 4. Otherwise, it’s always fun to see someone get hot during a multiball, so having a particularly exciting-to-play multiball doesn’t help World Cup much. You’ll note that, for most games, three of us had similar scores and one player broke out for the win. That’s just not fun to watch. World Cup is a strong table, but it doesn’t make for a good competitive table. My family has been really sick for the last couple weeks, so our World Cup gameplay was spread over multiple days. It didn’t matter. It was me versus Angela, with Dad taking two games (and one world record). Sasha’s lone victory gave her the arcade world record on Switch, her first main-mode world record for a Williams pin.
GAME NINE: SWITCH PRO MODE Sasha: 713,466,110 Cathy: 606,795,950 Angela: 1,019,079,600 Oscar: 3,007,901,030 (World Record) WINNER – NEW SWITCH WORLD CHAMPION: Oscar (1)
GAME TEN: PRO MODE Cathy: 1,364,682,400 Angela: 1,790,686,930 Oscar: 1,230,330,210 Sasha: 782,564,250 WINNER: Angela (4)
GAME TWELVE: ONE BALL CHALLENGE – BEST BALL OF THREE Oscar: 623,092,420, 407,435,420, 3,508,341,570 (#7 All-Time) Sasha: 48,519,030, 237,049,790, 609,014,890 Cathy: 377,549,280, 293,339,700, 38,386,550 Angela: 303,125,040, 359,189,210, 950,877,070 WINNER: Oscar (2)
GAME THIRTEEN: FIVE MINUTE CHALLENGE Sasha: 727,707,100 Cathy: 527,355,070 Angela: 764,002,200 Oscar: 522,742,150 WINNER: Angela (5)
GAME FOURTEEN DISTANCE CHALLENGE Cathy: 2,045,656,630 (#3 All-Time, Xbox Record) Angela: 753,172,320 Oscar: 792,318,610 Sasha: 1,048,502,620 WINNER – NEW XBOX WORLD CHAMPION: Cathy (6)
Tales of the Arabian Nights First Released May, 1996 Zen Build Released December 10, 2019 Main Platform: Pinball FX Switch Platform: Pinball FX 3 Designed by John Popadiuk Conversion by Zoltan Vari Set: Williams Pinball Collection 2 ($23.99) Link to Strategy Guide
Tales of the Arabian Nights might be the most beautiful 90s pin. Maybe it’s the Golden State Warriors fan in me, but I love the gold and blue, along with the clashing red. The genie design is great too. It could have looked dangerously close to the Genie design from Aladdin, but it looks nothing like it despite being blue and having similar facial hair. I hope fans of TOTAN (one of the great pinball acronyms) remember that I love the look of this and I’m giving it a GOODscore after I say lots of mean things about it.
We came pretty close to saddling Zen’s version of the unfathomably popular Tales of the Arabian Nights with a rating of BROKEN. Angela, our undisputed best pinball player, was the main advocate for the rating. Among other hiccups that haven’t been addressed in all the revisions and patches Pinball FX has had so far:
The most common glitches are tied to the skill shot. While we’ve never had any instance of a made skill shot being called a miss, we’ve had PLENTY of instances where it simply didn’t register anything at all. Even if the ball cleanly falls through the correct hole, it’s not uncommon for nothing to happen except the ball entering the playfield while the scoreboard is still anticipating your plunge. The Vice Family couldn’t agree if it was more common for the failure to happen when the skill shot was the middle or bottom hole, which probably says a lot about how bad the entire mechanism is. Meanwhile, if the top hole is lit as the skill shot, the game almost always awards you for a made shot from any full-force plunge, regardless of what hole the ball ultimately falls through. This whole mechanism DOES NOT WORK and needs a full rebuild from Zen’s side.
The magnet can cause unpredictable behavior well away from the magnet section of the table. We’ve had instances where it causes strange ball behavior as far down as around the left flipper and slingshot, which should be impossible unless it’s one of those Wile E. Coyote magnets (and those NEVER work). We’ve even had it happen when there’s no logical reason for the magnet to activate, meaning the ball isn’t close to where it should be affected by the genie, but also the genie hasn’t been hit for a while anyway. This is a lot rarer than the skill shot issues, but it happens enough that I had to mention it. It’s quite peculiar.
Like with so many other Williams pins in Pinball FX, we’re comfortable rating TOTAN’s PRO mode as BROKENin multiple ways. We’ve had instances where multiball should have started but didn’t and instead keeps cycling between Ball Lock #1 and #2. In PRO mode, starting multiball requires you to lock all three balls in a single ball. If you lock one or two and then die, it seems to have trouble counting to “three” in each subsequent ball. When this happens, we’ve also had instances where all three balls are launched but multiball mode doesn’t start. Also, the ball frequently valleys on the right ramp in PRO mode, something that rarely occurs in any other mode. When it happens, instead of the game performing a soft reset to the plunger, the ball is magically pushed upward and drops down into the bumpers. We’ve never lost a ball by this means, but it’s immersion-breaking. Finally, the skill shot glitches mentioned above are most likely to happen on PRO.
Sasha on Genie Shot: I wish Popadiuk had instead used a traditional cellar instead of a magnetic element for the genie. I get that it’s supposed to be the antagonist of the table, but the magnet and its house balls (and glitches in Pinball FX) is why I’m giving a rating of GOODfor TOTAN instead of GREAT. It looks cool when it works, but it just as often wrecks a game.
Tales of the Arabian Nights is one of the most popular pins of the 90s. A mainstay in the Internet Pinball Database top 10 until Godzilla came along and finally bumped it down to #11, where it remains. Of the tables that I disagree with the high IPDB standing, which also includes White Water and Scared Stiff, I probably like TOTAN the most. So, it kind of feels like a table that Zen Studios needs to do a better job with, because it’s one of their most unstable Williams/Bally pins, if not THE most unstable. And yet, it ran away with ratings of GOODfrom all eight members of The Pinball Chick team. Tales of the Arabian Nights is one of those pins nearly everyone wants to like, even in the face of multiple problems. There’s no denying the lamp is one of the best shots of the 90s. The genius use of two targets on it that change position depending on where the spin stops makes for some exciting wood chopping. That’s before you even consider the fact that every single spin matters to your overall score, with various associated bonuses and perks tied to the spins. It really is special.
I easily prefer Zen’s version of the lamp to Farsight’s, as it doesn’t feel as weightless.
Very few pins offer the levels of flexibility and sheer volume of risk/reward choices as it does. Put all your muscle into spinning the lamp and increasing the value of the lightning lamp. That’s Angela and Sasha’s strategy, with Angela throwing in “build-up extra balls ASAP” on top of that. Totally doable. Totally viable. Both have set Xbox records using that specific strategy. Dad prefers to go for the wizard as fast as possible by shoring up the jewels. Totally doable. Totally viable. I prefer to dance between those two strategies but with a focus on building-up the multiplier for the massive end-ball bonuses (I smile EVERY TIME I get a “hold bonus” random award). Totally doable. Totally viable.
Sometimes the “enhanced graphics” aren’t bad. In TOTAN’s case, this is Star Wars Special Editions of needlessly gaudy to the point of distraction.
And that’s not even factoring in MAKE A WISH (lit every seven-and-a-half lamp spins) and the choices it puts to players. You have two jewels left to complete the modes and have a hot ball with a high multiplier and lots of lamp spins. You light and convert MAKE A WISH and it gives you the option of COLLECT TWO JEWELS or COLLECT BONUS, and then you stare at the screen like “jeez.” It happens all the time in TOTAN, and since games can turn on a dime thanks to brutal outlanes and the possibility of the genie’s magnet having about a 1 in 10 chance of dunking the ball straight down the middle, the MAKE A WISH choices aren’t really easy to make. I’m someone who puts the highest premium in tables that give you the ability to create your own strategy, and in the case of TOTAN, that alone carries it over the finish line. If not for that, I’d probably be inclined to give this a BADrating. Those outlanes ARE brutal, and the shallow angles assure that every ball has a chance of dancing right over the slings and rails and down the poop chutes. And while I’m whining, good lord, does this have the worst type of “kickback” ever. They’re more like the world’s most paranoid magna-saves. The “shooting stars” only last ten seconds, and the f*cking things goes off even when the ball doesn’t need saving. Thankfully, if the ball dies anyway, you get it back.
Even with easy-to-light pseudo-magna-saves, this is one of the most intense 90s in. You can’t relax, for any shot or mode.
The rest of the table is surprisingly kind hearted. Every mode can be skipped by lighting MAKE A WISH and choosing the jewel. But, I’m not a fan of the Wizard mode thanks to the need to manually launch the balls, and this is frankly a terrible multiball table. But, I loved the seemingly limitless strategy variations, even if the outlanes can kiss my butt. So, what gives? My dad pointed out to me the risk/reward wouldn’t be as good without the brutal outlanes, since the scoring isn’t really that balanced. And he’s right. Tales of the Arabian Nights’ brutality enhances the very thing I value most about a 90s-era pinball table. Yes, every shot is risky because of the outlanes and a weirdly hard-to-defend drain, making this a table that always feels like a series of bad breaks. It’s a MADDENING pin. But without that, the temptations of the random awards, multipliers, and MAKE A WISH choices would vanish and a lone self-evident strategy would emerge: grind high-yielding lighting lamps. At their max, they yield 600K per spin, and it’s only because of its unpredictable angles that it doesn’t break the entire table. Whoa. That means the flexibility I cherish so much would be non-existent. I’m calling it the TOTAN Paradox, and the TOTAN Paradox states “the more strategic options you give players, the harder the table MUST BE in order to precisely balance all of them, which in turn limits how enjoyable the table will ultimately be.” Tales of the Arabian Nights offers so much more flexibility than my favorite pins often do, but it’s not even close to being one of my favorite pins. Apparently I want flexibility, but not too much flexibility. Cathy: GOOD (3/5) Angela: GOOD Oscar: GOOD Jordi: GOOD Dash: GOOD Dave: GOOD Elias: GOOD Sasha: GOOD Scoring Average: 3.0 – OKAY
🧹Awarded a Clean Scorecard🧹 N00b Factor: Because of the house balls and hungry outlanes, Tales of the Arabian Nights might not be the best pin for brand new pinballers or casual fans who aren’t looking for a challenge. But, it’s not a total wash, either. The lamp is one of the all-time great toy elements in pinball history. Truly the fidget spinner of the sport, and it’s SO rewarding to get good at shooting it. TOTAN is also an excellent table for learning to anticipate rebounds, especially when aiming at the lamp. The genie makes for a less impressive target. It’s just not as satisfying to hit as it should be given the amount of real estate it takes up, which is to say nothing of the insanity that the magnet leads to. Oddly enough, if you ignore the outlane factors, this is one of the easiest wizards to get in Pinball FX. You literally can finish zero modes and get it. Verdict: Newcomers should approach with caution, but if you’re struggling to learn how to grab rebounds, this might be a good choice to hone your skills in that field. But overall, we don’t think this is a good choice for newbies.
VICE VERSUS
TOTAN is one of the better tables to challenge your friends at. The spectator factor is high, and in fact, this was what convinced Angela to rate it GOODand not bust the table’s Clean Scorecard award. For all its many problems, it’s genuinely entertaining to watch a match-up against your friends or family in a game of Tales of the Arabian Nights. Part of that is the nature of the table means there’s tons of near-deaths and close calls with the outlanes offer plenty of cheer out-loud moments. Of course, that also means there’s plenty of groans when those close calls go the other way. At one point, I scored only 30,230 in a game of one-ball. You read that right: 30,230, which led to my father saying “that’s not a score. That’s a zip code!” Not my proudest moment, though a victory for the good people of Hogansville, Georgia, since my father was right about it being a zip code. On the bright side, my family set four Xbox world records between us, and hey, I did win the duel! Tales of the Arabian Nights is far from perfect, but it’s one of the top versus pins in Pinball FX.
GAME TWO: PRO MODE
Cathy: 18,910,090
Angela: 16,354,010
Oscar: 19,241,060 (#20 All-Time, #2 Xbox)
Sasha: 13,571,990 WINNER: Oscar (1)
GAME THREE: PRO MODE
Angela: 9,703,570
Oscar: 19,657,040
Sasha: 12,670,130
Cathy: 26,673,100 (#14 All-Time) WINNER: Cathy (2)
GAME FOUR: PRO MODE
Oscar: 14,293,800
Sasha: 15,080,350
Cathy: 21,527,240
Angela: 34,930,820 (#10 All-Time, Xbox Record) WINNER – NEW XBOX WORLD CHAMPION: Angela (1)
GAME FIVE: ARCADE MODE
Sasha: 77,624,990
Cathy: 151,129,850 (#3 All-Time, Xbox Record)
Angela: 103,394,650
Oscar: 88,635,220 WINNER – NEW XBOX WORLD CHAMPION: Cathy (3)
GAME SEVEN ONE BALL CHALLENGE – BEST OF TWO
Angela: 3,321,880, 2,176,550
Oscar: 8,824,390, 7,358,970
Sasha: 3,087,610, 16,054,010 (#13 All-Time)
Cathy: 5,182,020, 30,230 WINNER: Sasha (1)
GAME EIGHT: FIVE MINUTE CHALLENGE
Oscar: 8,993,310
Sasha: 24,932,040
Cathy: 33,809,490
Angela: 37,838,590 (#8 All-Time, #2 on Xbox) Winner: Angela (2)
GAME NINE: FIVE MINUTE CHALLENGE
Sasha: 39,414,430
Cathy: 30,397,880
Angela: 47,268,830 (#6 All-Time, Xbox Record)
Oscar: 30,370,620 WINNER – NEW XBOX WORLD CHAMPION: Sasha (2)
GAME TEN: DISTANCE CHALLENGE
Cathy: 108,170,620
Angela: 75,770,880
Oscar: 101,935,010
Sasha: 142,576,870 (#2 All-Time, Xbox Record) WINNER – NEW XBOX WORLD CHAMPION: Sasha (3)
Dr. Dude and His Excellent Ray
Cathy: GREAT (4 out of 5)
CERTIFIED EXCELLENT
Civil War
Cathy: 
Captain America
Cathy: 
Calrissian Chronicles
Cathy: 
Battlestar Galactica
Cathy: 
Avengers: Age of Ultron
Cathy: 
The Pinball Chick 
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