Biolab (Pinball FX Table Review)

Biolab
First Released October 27, 2010
Main Platform: Pinball FX
Switch Platform: Pinball FX 3
Designed by Imre “Emeric” Szigeti
Set: Zen Originals Collection 1 ($15.99)
Strategy Guide – Pinball FX Wiki
One of those tables where the art is both fantastic and the art direction was taken too far because it’s so tough to know what you’re supposed to do.

Do you know what Biolab’s #1 problem is? It’s too visually loud, to the point that, if you’re not playing with true table dimensions in vertical mode, it’s too hard to see what shots are lit and which aren’t. Shame, because Biolab feels like a child-friendly training wheels-type table, but I couldn’t possibly recommend it to newcomers. It’s just too confusing. The central feature, a big tube with roto-targets, is one of Zen’s most smackable drivers. That shot would be their Attack From Mars saucer, or Medieval Madness castle, if they had painted this more elegantly. This is one of those rare pins where the art is so gaudy that it’s hard to figure out what exactly you’re shooting, because NOTHING stands out. If you rely on light-chasing, this might be one of the toughest pins to figure out, even with a guide. Of all the Zen Originals, this is the one that took me the longest to figure out. Then came the vertical camera angles, and suddenly Biolab was a highly playable table that went from “difficult to follow” to “difficult to shoot.” I actually mean that to be a good thing, by the way.

Signature Target – Roto-Target on Steroids: Most roto-targets have to be shot to move. Biolab’s triple-stacked roto-target is the mode start for Biolab and works like the reels of a slot machine. Hitting all three segments will begin a mode. This makes for a VERY fun target.

I think a bigger problem is that the modes aren’t all equally difficult. “Brains” is a rotating maze video mode that’s basically a lay-up. “Wisdom” requires you to make three skillshots (use the nudge), but it’s easy to clock the plunger since there’s a power meter (more of that please, Zen). Muscles and Reflexes are the only two shooting modes, and they’re pretty tough, actually. Muscles requires you to hit enough targets before your stamina falls to 0, while reflexes is a two-ball multiball on a table that really isn’t made for multiball. Then you get to the final wizard mode, which features what I believe is Zen’s first magnetic playfield element. Hoo boy, yea.. I totally get why even the most staunch Zen fans were a little nervous about their adaptation of Addams Family’s magnetic playfield. The magnets are too chaotic and unfair, giving you a wizard mode that really comes down to dumb luck. Even worse: if you ball out during it, you have to keep playing until you win. It came THIS CLOSE to dropping Biolab into the BAD column for me. I like the table’s shot selection enough to keep its head barely above water.
Cathy: GOOD
Angela: GREAT
Oscar: GOOD
Jordi: GOOD
Dash: GREAT
Sasha: GOOD
Overall Scoring Average: 3.3 🧹CLEAN SCORECARD🧹
Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for.

Battlestar Galactica (Pinball FX Table Review)

Battlestar Galactica
Pinball FX Debuting Pin
First Released May 16, 2024
Main Platform: Pinball FX
Switch Platform: Pinball FX
Designed by Andras “Babar” Klujber
Set: Universal TV Classics ($14.99)
Okay, okay, I admit it. When the Universal TV Classics pack was announced, I rolled my eyes so much that I could see the wrinkles in my brain. But, they ended up with three pins that felt like they came from a place of inspiration. Statistically speaking, this is the lowest ranked of the three, and it just won a Clean Scorecard (excluding Switch). That really tells you how good that set is, even if I didn’t care for Knight Rider at all.

In terms of layout, Battlestar is in an elite class. It flows really well and any one shot can transition seamlessly to any other. Even better is the table’s toughest shot, the ramp leading to the Cylon, is tough enough and risky enough that it becomes satisfying to hit, and it does this without resorting to cheapshots. I just wish the rules were a lot less confusing. There’s too many non-essential lights going at once. While this might lend itself better to making your own strategy, it also makes it more difficult for newcomers to use lights to complete modes. The decision to have so many mini-modes that stack with main modes, in a table this visually loud, might not have been the wisest. Otherwise, the atmosphere is spot-on with the various color-coded room lights that change the tone and feel of the pin. That should have been enough without piling on the added distractions of too many mini-modes.

Signature Element – Mood Lighting: One of the unique aspects of Battlestar is that the colors change depending on the mode you’re playing. It works pretty good, too. It gives Battlestar that cheesy space opera quality you’d hope for if you’re going to develop this kind of licensed pin.

While the layout is solid, we all struggled to become more enthused about Battlestar. Even Oscar, who was a big fan of the show, struggled to put into words why the table just feels kind of middle-of-the-pack, ultimately settling on the pin feels kind of directionless. Which is ironic because the most memorable mode is shooting orbits to aim a ship at the right coordinates and then hit the FTL hole to make it travel. It’s solid. The whole table is solid, and hell, it’s even one of the ultra-rare Zen original designs that doesn’t have Jerk’s Point on the outlanes. Of course, “solid” is usually the word I use to describe something that’s certainly good, but nothing special. It feels like everything here is technically well developed to the point that it’s hard to find too much to complain about, even if I’m not having as much fun as it seems like I should be having. Solid. Oh, and there’s also some minor scoring imbalances tied to some high-yielding bumper scoring bursts that pay-off more than most modes. Battlestar is decent. It’s not there yet. It’s GOOD, so say we all. They told me I had to use that line so I assume Battlestar fans get it. I’ve never seen the show, but judging from the older people here (Dash and Oscar) who have, I’m guessing it wouldn’t help.
Cathy: GOOD
Angela: GOOD
Oscar: GOOD
Jordi: GOOD
Dash: GOOD
Sasha: GOOD
Elias: BAD (Nintendo Switch)
Primary Scoring Average: 3.0 🧹CLEAN SCORECARD🧹
Nintendo Switch Scorecard: 2.8 – GOOD
Overall Scoring Average: 2.85 – GOOD
Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for.

Star Wars: Battle of Mimban (Pinball FX Review)

Battle of Mimban
aka Star Wars: Battle of Mimban
First Released September 12, 2018
Main Platform: Pinball FX
Switch Platform: Star Wars Pinball
Designed by Peter Horvath
Set: Star Wars Pinball Collection 2 ($23.99)
Links: Strategy Guide – Pinball FX Wiki
You certainly don’t have to be a fan of the Han Solo movie to love what Mimban has to offer. I’m not at all, but the difficult production of that film feels worth it just for this pin. I don’t want to say this table single-handedly justified our purchase of Arcade1Up’s Star Wars pinball table, but it’s DAMN close.

Battle of Mimban is Peter Horvath’s finest table and almost certainly the best original design to come out of Zen Studios. The ultimate marriage of all-encompassing environments that can only exist in video games with the sport of pinball. Mimban is, for my money, the greatest war-themed pinball table ever made. It’s gritty, and dirty, and raw, and visceral. The layout has that feeling too, like a freshly dug foxhole. A ramshackle network of orbits and targets that are so simply placed and accessible that it feels like a table thrown together in five minutes, and I mean that in a good way. Like a base camp set up by a front line battalion that could be broken down and moved on a moment’s notice. But, wash away the grime and the dirt and you’ll discover an elegantly-crafted, smoothly flowing table. Getting the bad stuff out of the way, the slingshots are a little aggressive and the left outlane is brutal. You’ll want to light the kickbacks, which is simple: shoot the spinner. That’s it. No complicated multi-step process. Even better is that these aren’t violent kickbacks. They catch the ball and drop it in the outlane. AWESOME!

Signature Element – Split Level: Zen has done many multi-story tables, but only Mimban has successfully pulled off the degree of realism that makes you believe the layout is the offspring of real world split-level tables. Specifically, this shares a lot of DNA with Black Knight 2000. Hey, that’s one of my all-time favs so I ain’t complaining.

Zen has a love for cardboard targets, and no table by them has better usage of them. It shifts Battle of Mimban from combo-centric finesse gameplay to white-knuckle sharpshooting on the fly, and it WORKS. It doesn’t feel jarring or gimmicky at all. Instead of clashing, the play-styles complement each-other. It helps that, despite the complex idea of an actual battlefield with attack waves, the gameplay couldn’t be more simple or intuitive. The clean layout leaves little in the way of distraction, making it easy to know which shots are lit and how to get to them. It also really helps that this probably has the best written rules of any of the more complicated Zen original creations. Thanks to the clever concept of alternating between attack formation and defense, modes that would be dangerously close to samey and repetitive instead feel high in stakes. There’s also enough options to allow players to come up with their own strategies in order to tackle them, including high risk side-missions that usually pay off with extra balls.

Signature Mode – Infiltration: In this short but sweet shooting gallery video mode, you use the flippers to aim a close-range cannon to shoot cardboard targets. Just remember: red guys bad, Stormtroopers good. Don’t shoot the Stormtroopers.

In a way, Mimban kind of reminded me of my first game of Risk. The rules felt overwhelming and complicated at first, but it took only like fifteen minutes for me to learn what I was doing. Battle of Mimban does exactly that for pinball, and it can be overwhelming. But actually the flow is really simple to learn and the targets are clear enough that it makes for an awesome shooting pin. One that has none of the typical problems with modern Zen. Just getting the ball isn’t the hard part. You have to make your shots in a way where you don’t kill yourself.  Retheme this as any other property, or any other setting, and Mimban wouldn’t work. You’d ask yourself “why is this layout so.. so.. rudimentary?” Simplicity works in a tactical war setting, especially with spot-on scoring balance. Hell, this pin feels more like it’s based on a board game than any of the tables in their three-table pack themed around board games! The end result is a table that has to enter the discussion of the greatest digital-only pinball table ever. It has my vote.
Cathy: MASTERPIECE
Angela: MASTERPIECE
Oscar: MASTERPIECE
Jordi: MASTERPIECE
Sasha: MASTERPIECE
Elias: MASTERPIECE (Star Wars Pinball on Nintendo Switch)
Overall Scoring Average: 5.0* 🏛️PANTHEON INDUCTEE🏛️
*Nintendo Switch version is, more or less, identical to all other platforms.
Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for.

Back to the Future (Pinball FX Table Review)

Back to the Future
First Released September 26, 2017
Main Platform: Pinball FX
Switch Platform: Pinball FX 3
Designed by Peter “Deep” Grafl
Pinball FX Set: Universal Classics Pinball ($9.99)
Links: Strategy Guide – Pinball FX Wiki
Getting the obvious confusion out of the way, this has no relationship to the 1990 Data East coin-op designed by Ed Cebula and Joe Kaminkow. I personally believe that’s one of history’s most overrated pins, but it does have some big fans. This is MUCH better.

Back to the Future is probably the owner of Zen’s best original layout. If not for the bloodthirsty slingshots and outlines, I think we’d be talking about whether or not this is Zen’s greatest achievement in pinball design. Back to the Future is overflowing with satisfying shots and the best stackable multiballs they’ve ever done. I normally hate any multiball that passes three-balls, but the “one new ball every time” Outta Time Multiball won me over, and I especially like that I can use it to clear the modes. Speaking of the modes, the way they did them is pretty damn genius. You can start the game in any of the six time settings from the trilogy at the start of the game. Each setting has three modes that are live the moment you begin. They’re essentially checklists, so every shot matters. Instead of feeling like a grind, it actually feels rewarding to see how many shots are left, and seeing the lights go out as you check off the last shot. I wouldn’t mind at all if they did more pins like this. While the modes might feel a bit samey, they’re dressed differently thanks to a huge variety of cardboard targets and toys that change depending on the time period. Far out. And, there’s even risk/reward built into the modes. If you do them in movie order and succeed, the final wizard gives you a seven ball multiball instead of a four ball. That’s big, since basically everything pays-out in the wizard even if you seal-clap.

Signature Shot – Cardboard Targets: Each of the six different time periods has different cardboard targets that run along a track, including characters that look very close to the characters from Wild Gunman. This might be the closest we ever come to seeing Nintendo characters on Sony and Microsoft consoles.

As fun as Back to the Future is, it also feels like this was the start of Zen’s hostility towards all things like ball control. Somewhere along the line, their designers got it in their heads that the worst possible thing they could do is make gaining control of the ball easy. Instead of just trusting the players to put the challenge onto themselves, they resort to the same handful of tired, predictable tricks. Like aiming the slingshots right at the outlanes, then trollishly giving them hair triggers and explosive punching power. And while I’m sure they’ll say “that’s what kickbacks are for” I’ve had multiple games of Back to the Future where one kickback launches the ball the full length of the table right into the other outlane, which then immediately launches it back towards the original outlane. That’s why I had to drop my MASTERPIECE rating down to GREAT. It’s SO close. If they went back and toned down the slingshots.. not change the angles but just tone back the hair trigger and the punching strength, I actually think this might have a shot at beating some of the top-tier Williams tables. It’s really amazing, and tragic because there was literally no benefit in making this as unfair as it is. Addams Family might get away with it, but Addams Family doesn’t have anywhere near the shot requirement Back to the Future has, or the frequency of multiballs. One of these days, Zen’s designers will stop shooting themselves in the foot like this.
Cathy: GREAT (4 out of 5)
Angela: GREAT
Oscar: GREAT
Jordi: GREAT
Dash: GREAT
Sasha: GREAT
Overall Scoring Average: 4.0 📜CERTIFIED EXCELLENT📜
Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for.

The Avengers: Age of Ultron (Pinball FX Table Review)

Avengers: Age of Ultron
First Released April 22, 2015
Main Platform: Pinball FX
Switch Platform: Unreleased on Nintendo Switch
Designed by Tamas “Ypok” Pokrocz
Set: Marvel Pinball Collection 2 ($29.99)
Links: Strategy Guide – Pinball FX Wiki
Age of Ultron is a table that tries to be everything, and it fails to accomplish much of anything. We love the Xenon-like tube across the center, though.

Age of Ultron is so prohibitively difficult and so joyless to play that I wondered “were they just in a bad mood when they made this? Were they deliberately making a table designed to not be any fun at all?” If I had to describe Age of Ultron in one word, it would be “hateful.” The ball save is completely worthless because it annoyingly blasts the ball out of the drain like a bat out of hell that’s just as likely to almost immediately drain out anyway. Why even have a ball save if you want to be a complete asshole about it? The decorated balls of the first Avengers table return, but only for multiball modes. What’s annoying is that the physics completely change when the colored balls factor in. You can feel it during the cinematic “prelude” mode. It’s a maddening two-ball multiball, on one of those tables designed specifically to run poorly for multiball and have the balls clear each-other out. There’s no penalty for losing, but pay close attention when you do. The surviving ball transforms into a normal steel pinball, and the physics completely change, the balls stop running like they’ve been dipped in grease, and you no longer need superhero-like reflexes. The colored balls are especially suicidal, running across the rails and down the outlane like they’re opting-out of the superhero life.

Signature Mode – Hawk’s Nest: In this video mode, you have limited ammo to take down as many incoming Ultron Sentries as possible. I don’t know what it says about Age of Ultron that our favorite mode has nothing to do with pinball. Nothing good, I imagine.

Mind you, this is one of the only tables that has “adjustable difficulty” which is so erroneous that it feels like it’s being said with a snicker.You’d also be a fool to play on EASY, which scores significantly less points, with little “ease” gained besides, I think, more time for modes. The fact that I couldn’t really tell the difference says it all. However, on the medium setting, I had some hurry-ups where I never even had a remote chance at playing the ball, as the countdown began and ended with the ball still slowly traversing various elements. I don’t get my father’s enjoyment of Age of Ultron at all. For me, it’s too punishing and asks too much of players. A lot of Zen balls overdo modes, difficulty, etc. You can see it on the relatively low-scoring leaderboards. What frustrates me about Age of Ultron is that it’s a potential masterpiece-level table. Satisfying combo shots. Awesome homage to Xenon with the tube across the upper playfield. All the pieces were here, but it was more important for the designer to show how hard he could make a table instead of letting players, you know, have fun. Zen would never scrap one of their pins and start over, but they should consider it with Age of Ultron. Drop a city on this one.
Cathy: BAD (2 out of 5)
Angela: BAD
Oscar: BAD
Jordi: BAD
Sasha: BAD
Overall Scoring Average: 2.0 – BAD
Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for.

The Avengers (Pinball FX Table Review)

The Avengers
First Released June 19, 2012
Main Platform: Pinball FX
Switch Platform: Not Yet Released
Designed by Thomas Crofts
Set: Marvel Pinball Collection 2 ($29.99)
Links: Strategy Guide – Pinball FX Wiki
Kickback – Sasha: I can’t believe they don’t like Avengers more! I like that Thomas Crofts set the table on the Helicarrier from the film. They didn’t have Avengers Tower yet! This is their first adventure! Most importantly, I think Cathy is wrong about the color scheme. I think the gray-metal setting works because it’s the characters that are supposed to be colorful and stand out, not the setting. The modes follow the movie and the shots use the character logos to guide you. That wouldn’t look as good without the chain-link floor. Avengers has complex rules and six different balls, each with their own unique attributes (see the next caption), but having the lights and character logos contrast everything else makes it easier to find the shots. The slingshots are really bad, which is why I can’t give it MASTERPIECE, but I was very close. Come on, Zen! I want to play this on my Nintendo Switch!

Between this and Han Solo, I think Zen should avoid metal-grated settings. It just never works out for them. In fairness, Avengers is hardly a bad table. It’s just not really a remarkable one, either. Besides the balls being individually decorated to resemble the Avengers themselves, I found the setting here is so drab to the point that it’s exhausting. This wasn’t unanimous, as my niece’s kickback noted. In terms of themes and modes, it’s such a safe table, you know? That’s how I felt about the first Avengers movie, too. Given how the property has, again and again, produced predictable, boilerplate-type PRODUCTS, I have to believe there’s someone from Marvel with arms like tree trunks brandishing a wiffle bat who provides the one mandate from Disney overlords: don’t f*ck this up! Thomas Crofts didn’t. Zen’s first Avengers pin is FINE. Not great. Not bad. Fine. Kind of bonkers, really, since this is essentially Attack from Mars with a superhero theme. The funny thing is, one of our inside jokes is that if Zen Studios had made Attack from Mars, the saucers would have required more hits to open and more to kill, and the slingshots would have been aimed at the outlanes and the game would be anything but generous with extra balls. And that’s basically what Avengers is.

Signature Element – Custom Balls: You’re not just picking a load-out for the score display. In Avengers, the balls are painted to match their corresponding hero. The gameplay effect is tied to the grinding, as each character reaches one their corresponding mode and/or bonuses in fewer shots. I put a LOT of stock in tables having enough flexibility that it allows players to come up with their own strategy. By all rights, having six balls with unique abilities and perks should open that up in a way few tables can offer. But, Avengers load-outs are wildly imbalanced. One of the balls is so overpowered that it becomes a no-brainer. It’s Captain America’s ball. It grants you longer ball save and a longer grace period for combos AND it makes the Loki fight easier AND you get more time in the Repair the Engines mode AND if you manage to pull off an eight-way combo, it lights the extra ball. None of the other five come close to offering that much value. In fact, no other balls offer exclusive extra ball opportunities. Like so many Zen pins, this is begging for an update that balances the scoring. Come on, Zen. Stern updates the rules to their older pins. We’re talking about excellent layouts not reaching their full potential.

Oh, it could have been a lot better. A potentially great table driver, placed smack-dab in the center, had potential to one-up the saucer with three side-by-side targets and accommodating rows of lights. Easily the most satisfying shot on the table, but all it does is launch predictable, bland modes. It’s also got some maddening difficulty spikes. The slingshots spoon feed the outlanes too much. It’s not just the actual spring mechanism, either. The heads of the slingshots are actually more dangerous than the moving parts. That’s a weird one, right there. For whatever reason, if the ball bounces off the head of the structure, it’s likely to say “good bye, cruel world” and plunge straight down the outlane before you even get a chance to defend against it. This isn’t the Defenders, after all. It’s the Avengers. Also, the rails are practically bibs for the outlanes. Why would you make a table based on a movie that’s supposed to be for everyone be so focused on demoralization? If not for the razor-sharp scoring balance, probably the best of that era from Zen, I would have been inclined to give Avengers a rating of BAD. But the shot selection is top-notch and the tilt-table ball lock I personally like better than the one on Indiana Jones. It’s just too bad about the difficulty, which turns a solidly GREAT pin into one that’s just barely, BARELY okay.
Cathy: GOOD (3 out of 5)
Angela: GOOD
Oscar: GOOD
Jordi: GOOD
Sasha: GREAT (4 out of 5)
Overall Scoring Average: 3.2 🧹CLEAN SCORECARD🧹
Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for.

Attack From Mars (Pinball FX Table Review)

Attack From Mars
First Released December, 1995
Zen Build Released December 4, 2018
Main Platform: Pinball FX
Switch Platform: Pinball FX 3
Coin-Op Designed by Brian Eddy
Conversion by Thomas Crofts
Set: Williams Pinball Collection 1 ($23.99)
Links: Internet Pinball Database Listing – Strategy Guide – Pinball FX Wiki
Angela on Attack from Mars: Attack from Mars is Thanksgiving dinner with my family. It’s weekends with my friends. It’s Christmas morning with the family I’ll make for myself some day. Attack from Mars will always be tied to most of my happiest memories. The table I use when I need to unwind. The table I use to organize my thoughts and find perspective when I’m feeling lost. My own little space. Just me, Attack from Mars, and my state of being. I can’t imagine any other table being all that and more. It even helped me learn math faster. I have Dyscalculia, which is kind of like dyslexia for numbers and math. Attack from Mars didn’t cure it. It didn’t even make it better. Instead, it contributed to my determination to overcome it. I loved this table so much that I wanted to be able to play it by myself and know how good my score was without asking Cathy or our father. My family tells everyone that Attack from Mars taught me how to play pinball, but they’re wrong. They taught me how to play pinball. Attack from Mars just happened to be my classroom, in more ways than one.

Shrug. It’s Attack From Mars! What can I say about it? While it’s not my personal favorite table, it’s the only pin I’ve ever considered to be perfect. Literally perfect. Perfect layout. Perfect sound effects and call-outs. Perfect scoring balance. Any player of any age or experience can walk up to Attack From Mars and enjoy a round of pinball, with no asterisk or strings attached. It’s simple and straightforward, but very challenging. The saucer is THE undisputed greatest driver in the history of the sport, and from there, it slowly eases players into the notion of greater goals and advanced modes. AFM defies any of the labels we’ve created to classify a table, yet it also matches all of them. It requires the precision aim of a Sharpshooter, but it offers gigantic flexibility to create your own strategy, like a Pick ‘n Flick. You can elegantly shoot combos and string together sequence shots, like a Finesse table, but it’s also a pinball machine where your main challenge will be taking control of the ball, like a Kinetic. Whatever your taste in pinball, and whatever era you love, you can have fun. There’s not a lot of pinball machines you can say that about.

Signature Shot – The Saucer: Attack from Mars’ iconic saucer is one of the all-time satisfying targets. The sound design played a big part of that, but I think the gate is understated. You almost breathe a sigh of relief when you lower that gate (assuming you don’t burn your Stroke of Luck on it right off the bat). It’s one of the more nail-biting shots around. Deceptively dangerous. Once the gate is lowered, nothing beats hearing the damage that each shot inflicts. Do a double or even triple shot on the saucer? Ahhh, that’s the good stuff.

If I have to think of something to not like about Attack from Mars, gosh.. okay, I guess the video mode is kind of underwhelming. Go figure that got recycled in Junk Yard, right? And everyone else disagrees with me about it anyway. I mean, even my video mode hating father likes it. I have no complaints about this interpretation from physical to digital. Zen Pinball has created a port that I feel accurately replicates the fast-rolling, frantic white-knuckle gameplay. Even the issues Pinball FX has with bounce don’t feel present here. You can tell they realized this was a table they absolutely had to get right, and they did. No, Attack From Mars isn’t my #1 table, but it’s the table I owe the most to, for it was Attack From Mars that turned Angela into a legitimate pinball player. No, change that. It turned her into a phenomenal pinball player, and it assured the Vice Family’s love of silverball didn’t end with my father and I. For that, it will always have my gratitude.
Cathy: MASTERPIECE
Angela: MASTERPIECE (#1 Rated Pinball FX Table)
Oscar: MASTERPIECE
Jordi: MASTERPIECE
Dash: MASTERPIECE
Sasha: MASTERPIECE
Dave: MASTERPIECE (Pinball FX3)
Elias: MASTERPIECE (Pinball FX3)
Overall Scoring Average: 5.0*  🏛️PANTHEON INDUCTEE🏛️
Pinball FX Scoring Average: 5.0 🏛️PANTHEON INDUCTEE🏛️
*Pinball FX3′ Williams tables run slightly different.
Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for.

Ant-Man (Pinball FX Table Review)

Special Note: Originally all Pinball FX tables were going to be posted to a single review guide, but there would have been loading issues. I’m splitting the guide into individual table posts.

Ant-Man
First Released July 14, 2015
Main Platform: Pinball FX
Switch Platform: Not Yet Released
Designed by Zoltan Vari
Pinball FX Set: Marvel Pinball Collection 2 ($29.99)
Links: Strategy Guide – Pinball FX Wiki
Ant-Man shares a lot of DNA with Theatre of Magic. The layout is largely a mirrored version of its layout. It makes for an interesting experiment, because the two pins couldn’t play or feel any more different.

How do you screw up an Ant-Man table? Seriously? It ain’t complicated! You do big and small things a lot. If any table invited a designer to get weird, it’d be Ant-Man. But, while there is a shrinking element, it’s such a grinding slog to activate. There’s a gigantic plastic ball (think Cirqus Voltaire) inside a ring as the central target that you have to ricochet into five targets. You have to hit all five targets enough times to shrink the ball to the size of a standard ball, at which point it’s small enough to fall under the ring. The rest of the table is the typical angles and shots you expect from a generic science lab theme. What’s strangest of all is how this feels like a tribute to The Pinball Arcade with its ultra-floaty ball. The skillshot is nearly impossible because the ball goes flying. In fact, the whole table might be the fastest-running pin in Pinball FX. This feels like some kind of oversight, where no adjustments were made for the new physics engine, and as a result, shots like the jump ramp, which is only “lit” for a moment, are a lot harder because the ball is too lively to catch, let alone have enough time to aim.

Signature Shot – Particle Ball: Easily the most notable shot on Ant-Man is this gigantic plastic ball. Whereas the plastic ball was Cirqus Voltaire’s “they’ve run out ideas” novelty, this actually works really well and makes for an exciting shot. It’s literally the only thing about Ant-Man I enjoyed.. except for the grinding. It takes too much work with this ball. It’s fun, but not so fun that I want to shoot it THAT much just to accomplish anything.

Dad, Sasha, and Jordi all liked the shot selection, and I’ll admit that Ant-Man’s layout is anything but boring. That’s why it’s such a shame that the table plays so poorly. Even Dad conceded that Ant-Man could use a lot of patchwork. For example, the table features a magna-save that still managed to drop the ball down the outlane about half the time. Still, that’s preferable to the Cassie Save attached to the left outlane, where you have to ricochet a ball up a chasm lined with rubber balls to get a second chance that’ll make you thank God for kickbacks being automatic on other tables. Lack of a proper scoring balance (three million points for a combo? On a table with scoring this incrementally low? YIKES!) ultimately pushes this one from merely dull to offensively dull, though let it be said that we weren’t unanimous in this. Angela agreed with me that the shrinkage multiball was a chore to grind-up and the table was dull overall, but she also felt hurry-ups were fun shots. Oscar felt the large ball wasn’t a slog and made for a fun and unique novelty two-ball, and Jordi just really liked the theme and shot selection. To each their own, I suppose!
Cathy: BAD (2 out of 5)
Angela: BAD
Oscar GOOD (3 out of 5)
Jordi GOOD
Sasha: GOOD
Overall Scoring Average: 2.6 – OKAY AT BEST

Ahch-To Island (Pinball FX Table Review)

Special Note: Originally all Pinball FX tables were going to be posted to a single review guide, but there would have been loading issues. I’m splitting the guide into individual table posts.

Ahch-To Island
First Released April 17, 2018
Main Platform: Pinball FX
Switch Platform: Star Wars Pinball
Designed by Szucs “ndever” David
Set: Star Wars Pinball Collection 2 ($23.99)
Links: Strategy Guide – Pinball FX Wiki
Kickback – Angela: I won’t argue if you think Ahch-To Island lacks excitement. That’s fair, and if you value edge-of-your-seat action, this might not be the table for you. What draws me to Ahch-To Island is how accessible it is. It’s the only original creation from Zen Studios where modes start automatically in a random order. Instead of girding just to get the game started, you immediately begin light chasing, or collecting lightsaber pieces. That sets it apart from every other pin in the entire Zen Studios library. Not only that, but it feels perfect as a table themed around Luke Skywalker training Rey in the ways of the Force. It might not be “exciting” in the traditional pinball sense, but it’s still exhilarating to shoot combos and hit your targets. The theme and flow give Ahch-To a serene quality that you seldom see in pinball. That’s why Ahch-To Island is my favorite non-Mimban Star Wars pin. In every way that matters, it’s one of a kind, but in a way that succeeds.

Fun fact: we scored over two-hundred pins as a team and this became the first table that was awarded a MASTERPIECE by one of our judges, yet failed to be issued a Certificate of Excellent. That’s on account of Angela losing her freakin’ mind and calling Ahch-To Island a MASTERPIECE while the rest of us have it down as only a standard GOOD table. Ahch-To Island is a genuine throwback to the early DMD-scoring era that lets the tables flow speak for itself. As a tribute to that era, back when you didn’t have to grind to start a mode, it works mostly well. There’s no timer on the main modes, and if you drain, the mode stays active when you start the next ball. No progress lost at all. So, that’s different from what you expect from Zen Studios, and a nice change. But, the rest of us are kind of ho-hum about the table. It’s not bad. It’s just kind of plodding, you know?

Signature Mode – Rey: In the second and third part of Rey’s mode, you have to hit the lane that’s lit. I like that the entire lane is lit-up with magic. That’s quite neat. Iron Man does something like this too. The problem is that it changes too quickly. Two seconds, if that. There’s a LOT of lanes on this table, and while there appears to be some grace period, it’s not enough time. It doesn’t make the table more exciting. It makes the modes a total slog.

It’s bonkers how much the rest of us fundamentally disagree with Angela about the value of the table. Oscar and I disagree about how smoothly it flows. A weirdly placed vari-target along one of the orbits causes the ball to get hung up constantly, as it’s too tight a shot and gives the ball a distinct wobble that kills the flow. Also, we disagree about how tough the outlanes are. The left one especially chews up more balls than a malfunctioning pitching machine, and by the way, a red-faced Angela feels the previous paragraph is not true and she’s threatening to stab me. Meanwhile, Jordi thinks the placement of the spin disk is a waste of space. I’m indifferent to the disk, which closes off during Luke’s mode anyway. The cause of the lower rating I think is all the secondary flippers. They just don’t work for me. They feel inelegant. Mind you, even though we all strongly disagree with Angela’s assessment, we all agree that Ahch-To Island is fine. Angela is right about one thing: it’s a one-off. There’s nothing quite like it, and I think I’m okay with that.
Cathy: GOOD (3 out of 5)
Angela: MASTERPIECE (5 out of 5)
Oscar: GOOD
Jordi: GOOD
Elias: GOOD (Star Wars Pinball on Nintendo Switch)
Sasha: GOOD
Overall Scoring Average: 3.33 * 🧹CLEAN SCORECARD🧹
Primary Scoring Average: 3.4 🧹CLEAN SCORECARD🧹
*Nintendo Switch version is, more or less, identical to all other versions.
Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for.

Adventure Land (Pinball FX Table Review)

Special Note: Originally all Pinball FX tables were going to be posted to a single review guide, but there would have been loading issues. I’m splitting the guide into individual table posts.

Adventure Land
First Released December 12, 2017
Main Platform: Pinball FX
Switch Platform: Pinball FX 3
Designed by Tamas “Ypok” Pokrocz
Set: Zen Original Collection 1 ($15.99)
Links: Strategy Guide – Pinball FX Wiki
It’s a beautiful, zany-looking table, but the grinding combined with the hungry outlanes makes this significantly less fun than I think the average player would be primed for on looks alone.

Angela is beside herself that my father and I ranked Adventure Land GOOD and claims our love of theme parks and their artificial reality is what distracts us from a table that flows badly. When she found out Jordi was giving it a GREAT, we had to fetch her fainting couch. Maybe she has a point, and in fairness to her outrage, this is as generic as an amusement park gets in media. I get why people would dislike Adventure Land. It features some stunning scoring imbalance issues and absolutely maddening slingshots and outlanes. Fine. She’s right in that regard, and I’ll throw in that Adventure Land has the absolute worst skillshot in all of Pinball FX. It’s above the right slingshot at a horrendous, high-risk angle that doesn’t seem compatible with the physics. The only time we’ve made it on Pinball FX 4 is via a lucky bounce. Making it opens the super skillshot, where you can light an extra ball, and it’s actually not even worth trying for that. The rest of the table is a massive grind, because that’s Zen’s thing. Adventure Land is the definitive burst-scoring table thanks to some of the most slow-to-active modes in Pinball FX.

Persistent Problem – Mini-Game Rules: Mini-Games in pinball should be simple enough to be self-explanatory, but when that’s not the case, it drags the whole table down. Take the Icarus V here. It’s a minigame where you have to make a Ring of Fire-like ride do loops. And these are the instructions for the mini-game in their entirety: “Once the ball is inside the toy, press the flippers at the right time to make a loop.” That’s about as useless as giving a dog a tuba. What flippers? Both? Alternating? When’s the right time? There’s a bunch of lights. Which light is the one that signals “the right time?” Say what you will about Pinball Arcade and its hundreds of pages of painfully detailed instructions, but at least every question was answered. For Pinball FX, you have to track down what the actual object is on websites or the strategy guide. They need to hire someone to do better instructions. It’s arguable the worst overall aspect of Pinball FX and Pinball M are the instructions themselves. This is why we tend to prize intuitive tables and mini-games above all else. If they insist on complicating these things, practice mode isn’t enough because you still have to grind to get the shot, and then if you fail it in five seconds (like we used to do with Icarus V), you have to start the grind all over. They could fix this by allowing players to practice the more abstract mini-games separately.

Here’s the thing: Adventure Land’s layout is really good. Most of the shots are fun in a vacuum. The reason why I’m settling on GOOD instead of a higher score is Adventure Land’s good shots are rendered meandering thanks to the grind. The table is too big, the shots too spread out, and the time limits are too strict (even with shots that extend the timer) for Adventure Land’s own good. This is one of those pins that’s BEGGING to be saved with a ROM update that cuts the grind and shot requirements. Maybe all of that wouldn’t be a problem, but Adventure Land wants to be both a grind-a-thon AND a brutally punishing table with serial killer outlanes and slingshots. It takes too long for this table to feel rewarding. Too repetitive. Too back-loaded. I like shooting on Adventure Land, but when it takes forever for those shots to pay off, it’s a downer. It’s a slog. And, for a lot of players, it’s a big turn-off. I’m also not a huge fan of the mini-games that act as a buffer because, on a table that shoots this tough, they make it harder to get into a rhythm. Adventure Land is one of those pins that’s showing its age a lot sooner than a lot of much older Zen originals. There’s a chance in another two to three years, I’ll be dropping my rating to BAD as well.
Cathy: GOOD (3 out of 5)
Angela: BAD (2 out of 5)
Oscar: GOOD
Jordi: GREAT (4 out of 5)
Dash: GOOD
Sasha: BAD
Elias: BAD (Pinball FX3 on Nintendo Switch)
Overall Scoring Average: 2.71* – GOOD
Primary Scoring Average: 2.83 – GOOD
*Nintendo Switch version is, more or less, identical to all other versions.
Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for.