Xena: Warrior Princess First Released May 16, 2024 Main Platform: Pinball FX Switch Platform: Pinball FX Designed by Anna Lengyel Set: Universal TV Classics ($14.99)
Special Consideration – Half-Broken Physics Options: Xena has a problem specifically limited to the “normal physics” setting in both the main modes (Classic & Arcade) and all four challenge modes. The left ramp (the third shot from the left, with the wooden bridge) has something horribly wrong with it. It’s one of the most reject-heavy ramps in Pinball FX and there’s no rhyme or reason when it will work, but it absolutely won’t work from a trapped ball shot dead solid perfect at full speed at it. The ball stops before getting to the top of the shot and is flung back down. The most basic, tried-and-true shot you can make in pinball, even if the shot literally can’t be more accurate, still doesn’t work. This is NOT affecting our overall rating of Xena, which we’re awarding our Certificate of Excellence to, but please note our review applies ONLY to “realistic physics” at this time.We consider “normal physics” played in any mode on Xena to be OUT OF ORDER. This should be an easy to spot and easy to fix patch for Zen Studios. But please be careful not to damage anything while fixing it, Zen, because right now this thing plays so good. Might want to give a longer grace period on the kickbacks, though. And tone them back too. And give Anna a high five, because she earned it with this one.
What a turnaround Xena made. Upon release, it was basically unplayable. Thanks to patchwork, the maddening difficulty was toned way the hell down, and the end result is Xena is now unquestionably one of 2024’s best pins. Let’s get the problematic aspects out of the way first. The kickbacks aren’t well done because of Zen’s continued insistence that they be violent, unpredictable trash fires. Go through all the trouble of lighting both kickbacks only to have the ball go down an outlane, be launched out and go down the OTHER outlane, be kicked back out and straight down the opposite outlane. Instances of both kickbacks being lost from a single triggering is high enough that it feels deliberate. The mini-table is, like so many Zen mini-tables, circular in shape and boring. It’s like they have a cookie-cutter template for these things, because they feel so samey and usually have similar objectives regardless of the theme of the pin.
Signature Mode – Caesar Roman Assault: Holy crap! Look at all those cardboard targets! There’s no way this has any sense of grace to it, right? WRONG! The placement is as perfect as a spam-it-all target gets. Ironically, even though you’re shooting enough people to count as a “crowd” there’s absolutely no crowding! There’s also no blocking, so there’s multiple safe angles for each target. Instead, the challenge is from the sheer volume of targets and the fact that the offensive-oriented Xena temporarily becomes a pick ‘n flick-style defensive shooter. There are lethal angles to the targets, but in that good, pinball type of way. Really nice. We all really loved this mode.
Finally, and this is a weird one that my friends and family mostly disagreed with: I didn’t find the Chakram that exciting of a shot. I have no clue why that is, either, because by all rights this should be one of the stronger skillshots and gameplay elements in Pinball FX, but it just didn’t “do it” for me. Maybe because there’s a similar shot in Marvel’s Women of Power: A-Force that just does the same thing better. Sometimes these things are inexplicable. But, with all that said, whoa! Xena is chalked-full of fantastic orbits, unique modes, thrilling shots, and some of the best uses of cardboard targets in Pinball FX. The sheer volume of cardboard targets in the above mode is jaw dropping, but the angles they take aren’t designed to ice your ball. In fact, this is one of the few modern Zen tables that doesn’t feel mostly defensive in nature. This is a SHOOTERS pin, and that’s such a breath of fresh air. Even the grind isn’t that bad, and when modes require a little too many shots, at least the payouts aren’t ridiculously back-loaded. In fact, I think Xena’s rule sheet might be its greatest triumph. The scoring is fine-tuned to scientific perfection in a way that would make Lyman Sheats proud. Anna Lengyel’s Homeworld is going to be lambasted by us, but it’s Xena that proves that she’s an elite pinball designer. Cathy: MASTERPIECE (5 out of 5) Angela: GREAT (4 out of 5) Oscar: MASTERPIECE
Jordi: GREAT Sasha: GREAT Dash: GOOD (3 out of 5) Elias: GOOD (Nintendo Switch) Primary Pinball FX Scoring Average: 4.16 📜CERTIFIED EXCELLENT📜 Nintendo Switch Scoring Average: 4.2 📜CERTIFIED EXCELLENT📜
Pictured: something not as exciting as you would hope. Makes for a fun track toy, though. This is kin to Getaway’s supercharger, but not a SHOT that you have to factor in.
Doctor Strange First Released December 17, 2013 Main Platform: Pinball FX Switch Platform: Pinball FX Designed by Ivan “Mad_Boy” Nicoara Set: Marvel Pinball Collection 1 ($23.99) Links: Strategy Guide – Pinball FX Wiki
One of the more life-like tables in terms of layout.. OR IS IT? Instead of using a diverter, the left ramps magically change direction, splitting apart and merging again. Neato.
Doctor Strange’s table is a strange one, indeed. Lots of conventional angles and smooth-sailing orbits make this enjoyable enough as a finesse shooter’s table. It’s too bad it can’t just give you the ball when it starts a mode. It has to violently spit the ball out so that it ricochets around, and sometimes it’ll just drop straight down the drain. Come on, enough of that. Seriously, at one point, I had a two ball multiball where both balls were shot directly from the VUKs down the drain, then I had to watch as the balls got stuck in the plunger. Absurdly, that’s not even Doctor Strange’s biggest issue. That would be the short amount of time you get to complete modes. They just don’t give you long enough for a table that has ball movement this loose, and one that deliberately eats up time before you even get your first shot. You could have as little as one shot at each ramp, and if the ball finds its way to the bumpers, you’re probably going to fail the mode. This is one of those tables where Zen desperately needs to go back and redo the rules completely from scratch. They can do an entire advertising campaign about having updated the ROMs for the tables. Nobody is saying “erase the old version forever.” We ain’t George Lucas. No, keep it up and call the reworked versions “The 2025 Builds” or something like that.
Signature Mode – Baron Mordo: One of the most fun modes on a middling table, five portals open in the middle of the midfield. When you shoot them, the ball teleports to the corresponding portal and completes the orbit at super speed, complete with sound effects right out of a 1960s Hanna-Barbera cartoon. It’s so cheesy and we all love it. We just wish it gave you another ten seconds to make each shot.
Doctor Strange features better than decent modes, mind you, and I especially enjoy how each has its own two shot driver. ONLY TWO SHOTS? Are we SURE this is a Zen table? Sure, they overvalued the modes to finish them, which feels like an over-correction so that players avoid chopping wood with combos. The layout is fine, which is why the modes need fixing. It wouldn’t require a lot of work for Zen to go in, add time to the modes (double, at least) and then cut their value by maybe 25%. There’s a marvelous table in here, and combos are such a cinch to shoot that you can veg out. I just wish the mechanics were more forgiving and/or less aggressive. On the positive side, this is easily the cheesiest table in Pinball FX. It’s so wildly cartoonish that it’s honestly more charming than most recent Marvel Cinematic Universe films and media combined, including the second Doctor Strange movie. The layout is fine. It might lean a little too heavily into defense, but with the smooth shooting combos, it’s easy to relight the kickbacks. Everything comes back to the timer and the fact that Doctor Strange is too aggressive with its multiball serves. They turn what should be one of the elite Marvel pins into a table located firmly in the middle of the pack. Cathy: GOOD (3 out of 5) Angela: GOOD Oscar: GOOD Jordi: GOOD Sasha: GOOD Scoring Average: 3.0 🧹CLEAN SCORECARD🧹 Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for.
Deadpool
First Released June 24, 2014
Main Platform: Pinball FX
Switch Platform: Not Yet Released Designed by Tamas “Ypok” Pokrocz Set: Marvel Pinball Collection 2 ($29.99 MSRP)
Links: Strategy Guide – Pinball FX Wiki
Deadpool looks the part. No doubt about it. There’s a ton of Easter Eggs and winks to the audience. But, it comes with a price: it can take FOREVER for the animations to wrap up, which means waiting around. Even holding the flippers, it can take a while. It can mess with your shooting stroke.
One of the call outs in Deadpool has him saying Zen Studios should make an M-rated pinball game, and his stated reason results in him being bleeped for the next ten seconds. Zen? Make an M-rated table? Nah, it’ll never happen. In Deadpool, if you make a skill shot, there’s a very good chance you’ll score 500,000 points and also watch the ball go straight down the outlane that’s directly next to the plunger and fed by the skill shot, losing your ball save. I’m sure this was done to be a troll, because I guess Deadpool could lazily be interpreted as a glorified troll. Cool. Yea, Deadpool the Pinball FX table is quite the frustrating pinball experience. For the record: that skill shot isn’t a “git gud” element that adds challenge. It’s just crap design. Mind you, there’s a super skillshot if you hit the first, which you might not even get a chance at because of this design. Why would you make a table like that? People pay money for these, and your first instinct is to troll? But the whole table is that way. The bumpers are of the Creature from the Black Lagoon variety, and it’s not rare for a ball to get caught in them for a long time. On a table where time is money. Want to experience Deadpool-based agony without watching X-Men Origins: Wolverine? Try playing this table in the five minute mode. (About an hour after typing that, 9 year old Sasha took that as a bet and shortly thereafter became Pinball FX’s Deadpool 5 Minute Challenge Undisputed World Champion).
Signature Shot – Mode Start Filing Cabinet: The one ingenious aspect of Deadpool is how the mode start works. Once you hit the mode start lanes to light the cabinet, you can start the mode and play on EASY right away, or you can use the spinners to light other difficulties. Usually this means adding to the shot requirement or shrinking time limits. This is a great idea, and the modes are just good enough to carry Deadpool over the finish line. Even if it’s doing it one piece at a time. By the way, you’re not guaranteed to actually get the hardest difficulty even if you light it. You still have the ball into the top locker. In Sasha’s record-setting 5 minute challenge, her intent was to play on HARD, but after lighting it, the mode start shot fizzled off the jump and only went into the MEDIUM hole. And she still set the world record anyway. Go figure.
Deadpool has the same problem as Ant-Man: there’s something loose and inelegant about ball movement in this table. You can see it in the skill shot, when a tiny little bump with the plunger sends the ball flying. The bumpers and slingshots are the same way. This is what we call a “kinetic” table, though it feels more in terms of gravity than actual table mechanics. It feels like you’re shooting a marble instead of a steel ball. Maybe the table wouldn’t work without the lighter physics. I hope that’s not the reason, because if it is, that’s the point when a designer should tear the table down and start over, not slap a price tag on it and release it. So, I must have hated the table, right? Actually, it won me over thanks to the way the mode start is handled, plus the modes themselves are pretty good. From shooting garbage that rains from the sky to the miniature Deadpool. The only one I disliked was a button mashing arm wrestling sequence. Button mashing is one of those accessibility things that needs to be phased out unless it’s a specific button mashing genre (like Track & Field games).
Signature Shot – Lil’ Deadpool: Okay, so as far as digital targets go, this is slightly weak since he just wiggles there after completing other tasks. What makes it more interesting is that we started setting records once we began trying for medium difficulty. Instead of three sequences of hitting the spinners and shooting the lockers to set up Lil’ Deadpool, you have to do four. For much more points. Yea, that’s a fair trade.
Even with the physics problems, I have to give it up to Ypok. He did a fairly decent job of balancing the difficulty and risk/reward between EASY/MEDIUM/HARD difficulties. It also helps that the harp-shaped playfield inherently has good combo shooting that feels different from a typical “pick a lane, any lane” out and back again combo shooting. Do I think Deadpool lives up to its potential? Oh, not even close. This thing feels SO WEIRD in terms of speed and bounce. If this hadn’t been Deadpool, they could have just as easily based it on Sonic The Hedgehog with how fast it runs and how much punch you get off the slingshots or even the grenade that acts as a ball save. The story isn’t “Deadpool wins a Clean Scorecard” but instead “Deadpool’s physics prevented it from winning the Certificate of Excellence that the layout and modes deserved.” On the other hand, this is the rare IP that is so enticing that pretty much everyone wants to play it, and it’s actually good enough that everyone should at least enjoy it more than dislike it. That counts for something in my book. Cathy: GOOD (3 out of 5) Angela: GOOD Oscar: GOOD Jordi: GOOD Dash: GREAT (4 out of 5) Sasha: GREAT Scoring Average: 3.33 – 🧹CLEAN SCORECARD🧹 Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for. Read my review of the Deadpool NES game.
Darth Vader
First Released October 15, 2013
Main Set: Pinball FX
Switch Set: Star Wars Pinball Designed by Ivan “Mad_Boy” Nicoara Set: Star Wars Pinball Collection 1 ($23.99)
Links: Strategy Guide – Pinball FX Wiki
Be afraid. Be very afraid. In Darth Vader, every shot is high risk, yet this is a table made in the days before Zen started a crusade against ball control. This is a table that says “I DARE YOU TO CATCH AND SHOOT!” That’s tough enough without trollish ball returns. Had this table been made today, they’d aim the orbits at the drain and Darth Vader would be among the worst pins ever made. Hopefully if they take my advice to go back and rework the rule sheets for their old tables, their design staff doesn’t take that as a cue to break the tables. I literally mean “just fix the rules.” In fact, now I’m actually reconsidering this whole “rework the old pins” thing. I’m getting a weird “monkey’s paw where your wish has unexpected consequences” vibe. “Wish granted! Every pin will now be remade.. by Daniel ‘Dolby’ Vigh!” “NOOOOOOOOO!”
Darth Vader is maddeningly difficult, and also one of my favorite tables among the Star Wars tables. I ranked it #1 among the pins included in the Nintendo Switch compilation Star Wars Pinball, which is pretty much all the Star Wars pins in this feature except Classic Collectables and Mandalorian. Enough time has passed and enough replays have happened that I no longer believe that, and actually I’m not even rating Darth Vader a MASTERPIECE. Still top five among the Star Wars pins? I think so, but that’s mostly because there’s nothing quite like it anywhere in the pinball world. The unconventional angles, especially shots off the left flipper, are some of the most nail-biting tight squeezes I’ve seen on any pin. It’s a table where it’s hard to get into a rhythm because the shots themselves are so difficult. Especially the bat flipper, which is essentially an invisible Ritchie Loop. Or maybe it’s the brutal toe shot with minimum clearance that must travel the full length of the table.
Signature Mode – Darth Vader Assembly: Players are given the option to start a game of Darth Vader in what is the only easy aspect of the entire table. You have to shoot zone-style magnetic targets which capture the ball and score a million points a pop. It’s an easy ten million points, which is a LOT of points in this specific pin. There’s no time limit to this mode and the only real catch is that Darth Vader in general has a short ball save, so it’s not completely unlikely you would die during this mode. So what? There’s no logical reason anyone should skip it. You only lose out on one skill shot chance, which is only worth 500,000 points and gives you a crack at an even more difficult super skill shot for a million points. 1.5 million or 10 million. Hmmmmm. If you want your pins to be story-driven, Zen, just f’n do it! Don’t be wishy-washy about it! Stand by your convictions!
The above segment isn’t why I’m dropping my score of Darth Vader. It’s that Darth Vader’s modes require too many shots done with too much precision. It’s not even the checklist itself. There’s set-up shots that put the ball in position to make the check mark that also require complete precision. This on a table that is arguably the toughest-shooting good table in Pinball FX. There’s a reason why Darth Vader’s leaderboard features significantly lower scores than other tables. It’s because even pros would struggle to heat-up on this one. Some of the modes are so out of reach they feel nearly impossible, like an intern accidentally input the wrong number and they just left it in. Like in a mode where the bumpers need to be hit 30 times in 60 seconds. Bumpers being those things that are out of the players hands. A running gag with me and IGC reviews is that I have unfathomably bad RNG luck. Well, in the final check before this review, I played twenty games of Darth Vader, and whenever I wasn’t on a bumper-specific mode, the ball would bang around for several seconds. BUT, whenever I actually needed to hit the bumpers, usually the ball would hit one then fall back to the flippers. In fact, that happens to me all the time with bumper-based modes a lot in Pinball FX and Pinball M. When they’re in the spotlight, they suddenly become shy.
Signature Mode – Trench Run: This mode WOULD be fun, but it goes too long and takes too much effort to unlock. Also, Pinball FX crashed during this after I’d shot down multiple ships. Like, I was kind of stunned by how many I’d shot down and the mode was still going when my Xbox Series X just said “nope” and I lost my game. I was on the 3rd ball with my highest score up to this point, around 80,000,000 points with 99M as the world record. That made two record runs I lost in a single week from a crash or a glitch. If that hasn’t earned me getting an achievement named after me in a future update, I don’t know what will.
It’s also worth noting that Darth Vader is not a table well suited to having a timer at all. Some of the shots, like the Super Jackpot, have a rail that doesn’t have the proper slope or any means to accelerate the ball. One time I valleyed the ball, which inched along the rear habitrail so slowly that it ate up the entire time limit of a mode all by itself. I have argued and will continue to argue that Zen could shut up everyone who complains about re-buying the old tables by completely overhauling the rule sheets. In the case of Darth Vader, this doesn’t feel like a luxury. It feels like something that NEEDS to happen because this table is f’n impossible. Oscar argues that if any table can get away with grindy, brutally difficult modes, it’s Darth Vader. He also concedes that, despite keeping his MASTERPIECE rating, they went overboard. Uh, yeah?! I still think as a pinball experience, Darth Vader is unique enough and the right kind of tough (in terms of shooting, not the modes themselves) that it’s, at minimum, a GREATtable. If you’re a fan of quick-draw sharpshooters, this might actually be Zen’s best table ever. Hell, even the scoring, ridiculously conservative as it is, seems to be well-balanced and spot-on. So, GREAT? Yep. In the discussion for best the Star Wars table? Not at all. Battle of Mimban and Clone Wars are a galaxy far, far away from it. Cathy: GREAT (4 out of 5) Angela: GREAT Oscar: MASTERPIECE (5 out of 5) Jordi: GREAT
Sasha: GREAT
Elias: GOOD (3 out of 5, Star Wars Pinball)
Overall Scoring Average: 4.0 📜CERTIFIED EXCELLENT📜 Star Wars Pinball Scoring Average: 4.0 📜CERTIFIED EXCELLENT📜 Primary Scoring Average: 4.2 📜CERTIFIED EXCELLENT📜 Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for.
Curse of the Mummy
Pinball FX Debuting Pin First Released February 16, 2023 Main Platform: Pinball FX Switch Platform: Not Yet Released Designed by Anna Lengyel & Peter Grafl Set: Zen Secrets & Shadows Pack ($14.99)
Links: Pinball FX Wiki
I kind of wish that Zen went all-out on original ideas like this one. I mean, it’s not ENTIRELY original. Hell, when I was a little kid, one of our computers had an Egyptian-themed pinball table that I always thought was part of the 3D Ultra Pinball line, but upon further research, I’m now almost certain it was called The Tomb. Anyway, more of this, Zen.
After years of developing tables based on classic Williams/Bally pins and licensed properties like Star Wars or Marvel, I find it comforting that Zen will still crank out generic themes that feel like something a lower-budget competitor would make. I’m not knocking that. I LOVE IT, because this lets them stretch their legs and come up with some inventive ideas using boilerplate themes. Curse of the Mummy hearkens back to a time when video pinball centered around tropes like Ancient Egypt or UFOs or Haunted Houses. The classics are classics for a reason. We originally had Cursed of the Mummy pegged as an instant-classic, but the VUK spitting the ball directly at the drain, and the waterfall that carries a ball down the drain? Yea, that became annoying, especially when you can’t really nudge to defend against it, and sometimes the VUK spits the ball out with just enough wobble to miss the flippers entirely and go right down the drink. Thankfully, following some patch work, they bandaged the table with an invisible ball save if the ball is bouncing around the bumpers or any other targets that hang directly above the drain. Using ball save to patch problematic design is the refuge of the desperate, but we’ll take it.
Signature Mode – Maze Blaze: A traditional light-chasing mode with a delightful twist. The inlanes have lit torches that ignite the ball, which you then use to light torches. To really sell it, the lighting changes to give the mode a darker, more foreboding tone. It’s WONDERFUL! The theme might be generic, but Anna Lengyel & Peter Grafl went all-out with it.
I really like the rest of the layout for Curse of the Mummy. A very classic design that has no driver, yet multiple thrilling shots. The Pyramid ramp that doubles as a jump-ramp AND a lock? Inspired. Both mini-tables in the upper corners have sharp, nail-biting angles on their shot selection, but they work really well too. Pretty much all the standard modes are fantastic. In addition to the great balls of fire in the above caption, there’s ones where a colony of scarabs flood the playfield and a couple modes that involve shooting clay tablets. Curse of the Mummy is also tailored especially well for multiball, which is a true rarity among tables that debuted in Pinball FX. It even has an old-fashioned video mode with a DMD display, even though Curse of the Mummy features an LCD scoreboard. It goes so far towards helping with the retro vibe. The funny thing is, Curse of the Mummy is packed with Pinball Noir, but that table doesn’t feel like a modern table with old fashioned sensibilities. Mummy does.
Signature Element – The Upper Playfield: Curse of the Mummy’s corners feature not one, not three, but TWO completely different mini-fields, both of which have a variety of shots. It’s insane how much action is squeezed into such a little space. They try this a lot in Pinball FX and Pinball M, often with disastrous results (see Star Trek: Discovery for an example of a mini-field gone horribly wrong). Curse of the Mummy’s mini-fields don’t feel like they fundamentally halt the table’s flow. The claustrophobic space works well with the monster theme, but it’s the transition from the mini-fields to the main playfield that makes these work. It’s pretty much instantaneous, making it feel like part of a greater whole instead of a completely different pinball-like thing growing out of the table like a tumor. Fantastic job!
There’s a second video mode where you have to catch falling balls of light that goes too long and it’s awful, but that’s really the table’s one and only stinker. There’s also typical Zen problems with grinding, but the shot selection is fun enough that it takes the edge off that. Post patch, the biggest complaint is probably just mild scoring imbalance issues, as some of the easier modes pay off too much compared to more difficult modes. There’s also almost no consideration for how much work goes into activating a mode in the scoring balance. But, that’s nit-picky, and Curse of the Mummy certainly isn’t guilty of anything that could be said about 90% of Zen’s work. A bigger question is “did the bandages they put on Curse of the Mummy to fix the house ball problem go too far?” Dad certainly thinks so. “You can deliberately let the ball drain off the waterfall and/or bumpers in order to get a more playable ball from the left VUK.” He’s not wrong, but at the same time, he admits that’s better than burning all your tilt warnings on a common ball path. The whole ball save thing didn’t bother me at all. I’m all for doing whatever it takes to make tables fair. Curse of the Mummy is proof that it’s a good thing, because the table was pretty mediocre before the patch. Now, we’re giving it an award. The irony that bandages helped a mummy-themed table isn’t lost on me. Cathy: GREAT (4 out of 5) Angela: GREAT Oscar: GOOD (3 out of 5) Jordi: GREAT
Sasha: GREAT
Overall Scoring Average: 3.8 📜CERTIFIED EXCELLENT📜
Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for.
Crypt of the NecroDancer
Pinball FX Debuting Pin First Released April 13, 2023 Main Platform: Pinball FX Switch Platform: Pinball FX Designed by Gergely ’Gary’ Vadocz Stand Alone Release ($5.49 MSRP)
Links: Pinball FX Wiki
For all the crap I’m about to give Crypt of the NecroDancer Pinball, it received a Clean Scorecard from my team. A very difficult task, especially considering that all six “Primary” Pinball FX players (IE non-Nintendo Switch) submitted a rating and nobody thought it deserved less than a GOOD rating. My team consists of three millennials/Gen-Xers, a 75 year old retiree, and two children. All of us gave it a positive rating. This is a quality pin. Now, whether or not it reached its fullest potential is another matter.
Based on the indie stalwart that I’ve never really played, because my ability to keep a beat is right up there with my ability to do a Vince Carter 360 windmill jam. Thankfully, you don’t HAVE to be able to keep a beat in this pinball take on it, even though the game talks about it. Really, you just have to shoot whichever shot is lit and/or then shoot the shots where a C (for COMBO) is lit, which builds the coin multiplier, which increases the value of shots, defeated enemies, and bosses. Instead of thinking of this as a rhythm pinball game, think of it as musical chairs pinball. You just have to beat the modes before the music runs out. Jordi said this shares more DNA with something like Safe Cracker than it does with the indie it’s based off of, and he’s right. Now, we rank Safe Cracker second-to-last behind only Han Solo as the worst overall Pinball FX table, so that might sound like a bad thing. It’s not. The only difference is when the time runs out in Safe Cracker, you don’t automatically lose the game. Here, the ball dies if you haven’t completed the current task before the music stops. There’s no overtime, and that absolutely sucks. And what’s especially lousy is they have a perfectly logical penalty already in place. When you finish the mode, whatever music is left can be spent shooting jackpots or entering the store to spend diamonds. Missing out on that is punishment enough. You don’t have to kill them too. It’s rude!
Signature Element – Digital Targets: A few Pinball FX and Pinball M tables use what we’ve dubbed “digital targets.” Moving characters that aren’t cardboard targets, usually in the form of full characters. World War Z, Solo, Chucky’s Killer Pinball, and so forth have them. Crypt has probably the best ones. They’re not spongy, which is a major plus. In fact, this is one of the least grindy tables in Pinball FX. Except for collecting diamonds. That’s grindy, needlessly risky, and boring.
Mind you, there’s no actual numeric timer, which would be a nice concession for hearing-impaired players. That’s why it’s especially funny that I played a lot better when I muted the game (I often play all games muted) and just shot like I would any other table. I even broke five out of six available records on the Nintendo Switch version without hearing a single note. Angela, who wears headphones and listens to music when she plays pinball, was also frustrated by the lack of a visual timer. The layout is simple, with the highlight being digital targets based on enemies from the indie game that you smack. The digital targets are an absolute joy to shoot. They never feel like a chore. The orbits are all satisfying to hit. But, there’s so many needlessly merciless moments. Like the diamonds. I’ve had many instances where I broke the brick that was hiding them and made the collection, only it then dropped the ball straight down the f’n drain. Off a made, incentivized shot. Crypt should have been an all-time classic in the annals of Zen Studios, but it’s merely okay because of wanton cruelty. The slingshots aren’t necessarily lethal, but they do burn off a lot of time. It’s not rare at all for the ball to get stuck in an extended volley between them. It looks like the slingshots are playing hot potato with each-other. Crypt doesn’t exactly feel lifelike, as the ball feels both too heavy while also gliding around like a hockey puck, and sometimes that’s good and sometimes that’s bad.
Signature Mode – Mini Table: I love the idea here, but the execution spoils the fun. It’s like a dueling pinball where the gravity reverses at the midway point of the table, and you’re trying to shoot the opponent’s drain. But, the physics are rough as hell. When the ball drains on your side, it’s supposed to be pushed back up into play, presumably by a burst of air. But sometimes the mechanism or physics fail and the ball falls immediately back down into the drain. Maybe it’ll go up and down without curving towards the flippers, but more often it doesn’t even clear the drain before it goes back down, costing you more chances if it’s a bonus room or your health if it’s the third boss. This isn’t something you could have flipped to save. The ball didn’t even make it that high. It’s literally inside the drain when whatever happens causes it to fall again. This happens constantly, and I try not to get angry at this type of thing, but this one got me because it’s just so lazy. Plus, it didn’t need to be this way in the first place. When the ball drains, the ball could have been teleported to the lane and the player loses health or chances, or have a VUK in the corner that spits the ball back out. Those options come with zero risk of mechanical or physics engine failure. No player can ever become frustrated by it and rendered less likely to purchase more Pinball FX tables. But, instead of doing that, nah, just a little puff of air that may or may not work. It’s one of those design choices so obviously bad that you can practically hear the designer saying “eh, maybe it just pops back up. Or not. Who cares? It’s only pinball!”
The center orbit (third from the left) is where the ball exits the shop, and once in a while, it just drops the ball straight down the drain (this effect is multiplied in the Switch version, where it happens so frequently it’s practically expected). Yes, you can nudge to defend it, but this one of those tables where the angles are tailor-made to push the ball towards the lane rails, and also the automatic ball serve might actually just roll so that you can just barely kiss the ball with the very tip of the flipper. I have no clue why they continuously do this type of thing, but on a table with a strict time limit that wants you to shoot to the beat of the music, shouldn’t the challenge have come from making shots? Even on an experimental table, their designers would rather do everything they can possibly do to prevent you from controlling the ball. They want you to make shots to the beat of the music, but they also want to make it as hard as possible to get off a shot. The absolute worst possible thing is someone holding the ball with the flipper. They couldn’t even let that mentality go this one time on a table that’s trying to do something no pinball table has ever done before. At this point, you have to wonder if Zen Studios design staff hobbles around on crutches on account of their constant shooting themselves in the foot. I wanted to give this a BAD rating because of the hostility towards ball control, but I couldn’t. The targets are too fun. The orbits are. The modes are. They’re so much fun that the story isn’t “Crypt of the NecroDancer barely gets a Clean Scorecard.” It’s “Crypt of the NecroDancer should have entered the Pantheon and it didn’t come close.” Cathy: GOOD (3 out of 5) THE PITS* on Nintendo Switch (1 out of 5) Angela: GOOD – (BAD on Nintendo Switch, 2 out of 5) Oscar: GOOD (GOOD on Nintendo Switch) Jordi: GOOD Dash: GREAT (4 out of 5)
Sasha: GREAT (GREAT on Nintendo Switch) Elias: GREAT (Nintendo Switch) Primary Scoring Average: 3.33 🧹CLEAN SCORECARD🧹
Switch Scoring Average: 2.8 – GOOD
*On Switch this thing dumps balls down the drain like crazy. Orbits that you can confidently shoot in the primary versions of Pinball FX kill you in this version. It needs work.
Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for.
Clone Wars First Released February 27, 2013 Main Platform: Pinball FX Switch Platform: Star Wars Pinball Designed by Ivan “Mad_Boy” Nicoara Set: Star Wars Pinball Collection 1 ($23.99)
Links: Strategy Guide – Pinball FX Wiki
STOP! If you’re not able to play Clone Wars in the vertical table view mode, it will affect your enjoyment. You could probably drop our scoring average by a full point, if not more. Clone Wars already has massive visibility issues due to the loudly busy playfield, but in standard horizontal viewing angles, you just plain can’t see some of the shots. This NEEDS to be viewed like a standard table. It’s criminal that this wasn’t included in their Arcade1Up.
Ah. Clone Wars. You sweet, sweet thing, you. I was actually surprised to learn this is a more polarizing choice for the Pantheon. I mean, it was close for most of us. Myself, Angela, and Jordi would consider this the lowest of any of our MASTERPIECEvotes, while only Oscar is tapping his wrist and saying “more of this. Put it in my veins. Nom nom!” Clone Wars features a layout that feels like a real, honest-to-God Stern table, probably more so than any other Zen original. Is it really that hard to imagine this sitting alongside their versions of Godzilla, Guardians of the Galaxy, Iron Maiden, etc? And it’s not that Clone Wars is hated outside of our circle. I’ve never seen anyone say it’s a bad pin. They just don’t think it’s as good as we do. When Elias joined our team and gave it a GOODrating, we were disappointed, but not surprised. If you had told me “Elias is going to put the screws to one of our Pantheon pins” I would have said “is it Clone Wars?” Any of us would have guessed Clone Wars, but why? Maybe the loud visuals, or the fast running flipper zone, or maybe unforgiving rails and outlanes. Or, perhaps it’s too life-like, and those playing Pinball FX, or Star Wars Pinball on Switch are seeking a more video game-like experience. Well, no, that can be it. This thing has modes that cannot be done in real life. Really, really good modes, at that. There are plenty of reasons to not rate this as an elite pin.
Signature Mode – War on Christophosis: You’ve never seen anything like this in pinball before. In this mode, a gigantic force field that you can’t penetrate from the outside covers the playfield, leaving only two entry points. You have to convert your ball into a bomb, then flick the bomb against the designated targets. A microcosm of Clone Wars in general, the mode is fun and intense, but far too visually loud. I think every player who genuinely wants to make a go at this one will want to experiment with the visual settings, because it’s too damn hard to see what’s going on. On a lesser table, we’d probably score against it. Elias, who didn’t love Clone Wars as much as we did and, in fact, seems to have barely tolerated it, for sure scored against the visuals. And you know what? We can’t argue with him. It’s totally fair.
So, why do most of us rate Clone Wars a MASTERPIECE? Because gameplay is king. Clone Wars is chock-full of unconventionally-angled orbits that are a joy to shoot combos on. And, unlike many Zen finesse pins, it doesn’t grossly overvalue basic orbital combos. Part of why the shots feel so rewarding is Clone Wars is one of Pinball FX’s fastest-running tables, especially around the flippers. Oh and for anyone who read the last several table reviews and thinks I can’t handle mean-spirited outlanes, hey, I think Clone Wars is a MASTERPIECE, and it has serial killers for outlanes. Clone Wars is probably the most difficult Zen original design to enter the Pantheon. I think that’s why a lot of people think we’re nuts for rating it this high. It can be quite unforgiving if you brick your shots, and snap-shots are harder to pull off here than on any other Star Wars table. You need Jedi-like reflexes for this one. On the other hand, this is one of the few Zen tables that awards extra balls automatically. It’s just a shame they didn’t go all the way with “this is a REAL table” concept and have a replay extra ball after a certain point threshold, like say, 60,000,000. Actually, Zen really needs to start adding replay EBs in general. They’re just fun.
Signature Mode – Clone Training: We’re not big fans of Zen’s mini-fields in general, but Clone Wars stands out for having one of the best ones. Or two of the best, really. Spelling TRAINING while shooting targets lights the sinkhole to the mini-fields, which have their own physics that feels more like a handheld novelty game. The flipper gap is huge, which is normally a problem, but even a grazing shot should be enough to save the ball. Like everything else with Clone Wars, there’s too many shots required, but at least it’s fun.
Admittedly, all the modes have the same problems common to Zen’s original pins, IE “why have a mode require six shots when it can require ten? Why ten when it can be twelve?” Like the force field mode above? That’s twelve total shots, assuming you shoot completely perfectly. Six shots to turn the ball into a bomb and six to deliver the payload. I’ve spent a lot of time pondering “what if Zen reduced the required shots in Clone Wars by 40% or so? Would that finally put Clone Wars in the discussion for Zen’s best table?” I honestly don’t know. You can’t know until you experience it firsthand. Clone Wars is in the 99th percentile of Zen pins, and also none of us feel that it’s even within sniffing distance of Mimban. Is Clone Wars an ELITE digital pinball table? Absolutely. It’s one of the best shooters in Pinball FX. Is it one of the best digital-only tables ever made? Now that’s a debate, and it shouldn’t be. Not with a layout THIS good. Not with scoring this balanced. Not with gameplay so elegant. *I* think it’s one of the best, but I can see why someone wouldn’t. Clone Wars might be the ugly duckling of the Pantheon.. but it belongs in the Pantheon. Cathy: MASTERPIECE (5 out of 5) Angela: MASTERPIECE Oscar: MASTERPIECE Jordi: MASTERPIECE Sasha: MASTERPIECE Elias: GOOD (3 out of 5, Star Wars Pinball) Overall Scoring Average: 4.66 🏛️PANTHEON INDUCTEE🏛️
Primary Scoring Average: 5.0 🏛️PANTHEON INDUCTEE🏛️
Classic Collectables
Pinball FX non-VR Debut aka Star Wars: Classic Collectables Main Platform: Pinball FX Switch Platform: Pinball FX Designed by Zoltan Vari Set: Star Wars Pinball: Thrill of the Hunt ($9.99)
Links: Pinball FX Wiki
Classic Collectables is the +1 of a two-pack with the solid and fun SuperPin tribute Mandalorian. Mando is pretty dang good. Classic Collectables is pretty dang bad. Maybe Anakin didn’t balance the Force, but by golly, Zen Studios did! I never understood that whole “balance the Force” thing anyway. When those prequels started, there were like five thousand Jedi and two Sith. By the end, there were two Jedi and two Sith. Mission Accomplished. When Obi-Wan screamed “YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE!” Anakin should have yelled back “DUH, and I did exactly what the prophecy said! The Jedi outnumbered the Sith 2,500 to 1! What did you think would happen if I balanced the Force, dummy?”
Classic Collectables, aka Loopity-Loop Mania, is as boring, as repetitive, and as downright nonsensical as pinball gets. Shoot the Death Star loop, then hurry-up and shoot it again, and shoot a toe shot to the left corner while you’re at it. Those are the only shots of any significant consequence on the table. Death Star Loop, toe shot, toe shot. The center loop is the most important one and the key to the whole table. There’s a scoop above the Death Star, and making a shot on it flings three of the old timey Kenner Star Wars action figures onto the table and begins a hurry-up to collect them. You collect them by shooting the same Death Star scoop that activated the mode, then two shots off the corner flipper that you get by activating a manual bridge. When the mode ends, the figures are refreshed. If you have collected opposing toys like, say, Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker, you can duel them against each other in a two ball multiball where the only shots are the toe shots.
Signature Shot – The Death Star Loop: If this worked every time, I probably wouldn’t hate CC as much as I do. But with a physics engine as inconsistent as Pinball FX’s is, sometimes the ball just loses all its momentum before it circles around and completes the shot. For no reason, and it’s sort of out of the player’s hands when it happens. There’s just too much wiggle room for the ball to wobble and miss. Since this shot is how you get the toys, it’s pretty important it work predictably, and it doesn’t.
The idea of collecting action figures would be fun if there were other ways to do it besides this one sequence of shooting this one, frustrating loop, then repeating the shot once along with the two toe shots, but that’s really it. Anything else you can do is a waste of time and energy when the toys yield the most points for the least work, and that’s not even factoring-in risk. The three shots that grab the toys are fairly safe compared to everything else. Even worse: the hurry-up value you score when you collect a figure is imprinted on it, and factors in for the multiball modes that require the figures. Logically, if you miss your shot, it doesn’t make sense to keep shooting it. Just let the timer run out and start again. I mean, why not? Assigning values to the toys would have made so much sense, and not doing so feels like something done to not trigger a screaming match between Star Wars fanatics and the designer. “WHY DID YOU ONLY MAKE DARTH VADER FIVE MILLION POINTS WHEN BOBA FETT SCORES TWELVE MILLION?”
Signature Element – Action Figures: The collecting aspect of CC is the best idea in the worst possible table. There’s even Mortal Kombat 3-like codes you can do with the toys that gives you more time (and thus more possible points) when you shoot the Death Star to actually start collecting them. For example: if you can prevent yourself from collecting the Luke toy AND the Darth Vader toy until you’ve cycled through all the other New Hope and Empire toys so that the Palpatine toy appears, then you get a three-person roster of Luke, Palpy, and Vader, the hurry-up countdown starts at twenty million instead of five million. It’s a neat idea. It’s just too bad the collecting is so repetitive. We’d love to see Zen do another action figure collecting pin, only with increased ways of getting figures. If they get the G.I. Joe license, they should remake this pin with more shots.
Outside of those three shots, there’s really nothing Classic Collectables offers that makes me want to play it. Any other shot is a massive waste of time. And the table offers all kinds of mechanical hang-ups and rejections that don’t feel tied to how you actually shot the ball. Like how depending on the camera you’re using (say, standard view camera #2) the random award cellar might throw the ball right between the flippers. The table is REALLY clunky with how it shoots. We use the term “bricklayer” a lot, perhaps sometimes inaccurately. Classic Collectables is a no-doubt-about-it bricklayer. The shots are so inelegant and so frustrating that, despite one of the most fantastic themes in Pinball FX, there’s nothing likable about actually playing it. The skillshot is needlessly tight and not worth the effort of hitting it. The bat flipper in the corner that’s tied to the two toy shots isn’t precise enough for what it asks of players. The multiball loses its excitement when it’s super easy to just do the high-yielding two-ball duel where the jackpot is the same toe shots you’ve been doing the entire time. In the dueling two-ball multiball, you can fight the same two figures an unlimited amount of times. They should have limited how many times you could duel the same two figures, which would have completely prevented using a multiball to chop wood. But mostly, they needed more methods of collecting figures. It’s not the worst Star Wars pin because Han Solo exists, but the only thing Classic Collectables will collect is dust. Cathy: THE PITS (1 out of 5) Angela: THE PITS Oscar: THE PITS Jordi: THE PITS
Sasha: THE PITS
Dave: THE PITS (Nintendo Switch)
Elias: THE PITS (Nintendo Switch)
Overall Scoring Average:1.0 💩CERTIFIED TURD💩 Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for.
Civil War First Released November 21, 2012 Main Platform: Pinball FX Switch Platform: Unreleased Designed by Mate Szeplaki Set: Marvel Pinball Collection 2 ($29.99 MSRP)
Links: Strategy Guide – Pinball FX Wiki
You can tell that the designer was a big fan of the Steve Ritchie classic F-14 Tomcat. Civil War’s center shot pays tribute to the Jagov Kicker from that table. Of course, that table didn’t feel like the outlanes were total serial killers. This one has too much aggression which in turn feeds the slingshots, which feed the outlanes.
Civil War makes me sad, because this should have been one of the best of the Marvel pins. It has some of the most satisfying shots around, with two ramp flippers that completes a delightful shot sequence. God darn it, Civil War is a memorable table with fantastic shot selection. So, why is it among the worst of the Marvel pins? It’s all in the mechanics that are outside of the shots themselves. This is one of those “story-driven” tables that starts with a two ball multiball. There’s no ball save, so about oh, one in three games will end before you even get one single shot at either ball because the balls enter the playfield aggressively, takes a couple bounces or bangs off the slingshots and goes down the outlanes. That applies to every single multiball. Sure, the ball save is on every time but that opening cinematic multiball, but that just means you’ll get to witness the balls have a parade from the chute to the outlane in a way that reminded my father of people riding a water over and over. The VUKs are some of those “blast the ball like a bat out of hell” ones that are so annoying, and there’s two of them that can point at the flippers and slingshots and do that cannon-blast at them. You shouldn’t have to hold your breath for a VUK. You just shouldn’t.
Signature Element – Auto-Shooting: Years and years before Zen’s Knight Rider wowed players with automatic shooting, Civil War was already doing it. When you build up a combo, the CPU takes control and makes a series of shots for you. It hits every shot too. It almost feels like one of those moments in a Sonic game where the character goes off a series of launchers and springs and you, the player, don’t have to touch anything to make it happen. It actually works really well, but everything comes back to those VUKs and slingshots ruining all the fun.
If not for those VUKs, plus overly hostile slingshots, I think this would be hands-down the best of the “Avengers” series of pins. The layout is so good and every shot so rewarding to hit. The modes are great too. Civil War has a fairly ambitious concept of choosing between Iron Man and Captain America and then recruiting 8 other heroes to join your side. You’ll want to play this one using the vertical table view, because sometimes the Iron Man and Captain America digital figures block the view of which shot is lit. This does everything you need to be fun, but on a table with VUKs and slingshots as hostile as Civil War has, it’s all for naught. The slingshots are aimed right out the outlanes, and since the VUKs fire the ball so fast and so violently at the flippers, it’s inevitable the slingshots will come into play. Civil War is one of those pins where it feels like lucky bounces factor in so much more than any amount of skill. Someone should have stepped in and told the designer “the way you’re doing this isn’t better for the table. It just makes it worse with no benefit.” So Civil War is actually pretty crappy, and it didn’t have to be. Instead of being the best Avengers pin, it’s the poster child for Zen needing to go back and redo the mechanics of the old pins. No bad pin has a clearer path towards winning a Certificate of Excellence quite like it. Cathy: BAD Angela: BAD Oscar: BAD Jordi: BAD Sasha: BAD Overall Scoring Average: 2.0 – BAD
Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for.
Cirqus Voltaire First Released October, 1997 Zen Build Released December 10, 2019 Main Platform: Pinball FX Switch Platform: Pinball FX 3 Designed by John Popadiuk Conversion by Peter “Deep” Grafl Set: Williams Pinball Collection 2 ($23.99)
Links: Internet Pinball Database Listing – Strategy Guide – Pinball FX Wiki
You can choose any of the colors you want for the neon lights. So many of the tables have been modded that it’s tough to tell for sure, but apparently yellow (or possibly red or even white) are the rarest ones in real life. I’ve only ever seen green ones, oddly enough. Maybe that’s all we got in California.
Cirqus Voltaire is a tale of two pins. More than any other table in the Pinball FX lineup, this one feels like the normal display modes and the vertical display modes are fundamentally different. In my house, we exclusively play in vertical mode. In fact, the only time I’ve played otherwise is in order to gather media for this review. It’s just a matter of preference since vertical “feels” real, and yes, it can change the table’s quality. Here, it feels dramatically different. Game-changing different. Mind you, this is already a table that uses different camera angles than any others usually found in Pinball FX or Pinball M. This was done to take advantage of Cirqus Voltaire’s unique scoreboard that’s under the glass at the rear of the playfield. So it’s already got the look of an entirely different pinball game by an entirely different studio. In the standard horizontal TV view, Cirqus is unplayable, becoming a houseball machine. It was kind of insane how many different ways the table mechanics threw the ball straight between the flippers. The vertical mode does it too, but not so much that it feels broken. Maybe. We debated whether this should be OUT OF ORDER or not and couldn’t come to a unanimous agreement, which is the standard we require. In fairness, it didn’t come close to the votes needed. But that we had enough reasons to debate it in the first place sure ain’t a good thing.
Signature Shot – The Ringmaster: One of THE great toy targets in pinball and the only aspect of this build of Cirqus that’s still really fun. BUT, the targets behind the Ringmaster that you must shoot to activate it are magnetized and will sometimes sling the ball straight down the drain at unfathomable speeds.
We were pretty unanimous in agreeing that Pinball FX’s build of Cirqus Voltaire is one of the worst translations Zen has ever done. It’s a terrible version, frankly. This is a table we gave a clean scorecard to in the Pinball FX 3 build (and I awarded a score of GREAT) and it just picked up three BAD ratings from my team, including one from me. That’s a drop of two ratings. I just couldn’t keep the ball alive, regardless of whether I was making my shots. Something in the mechanics would ice it. Not that this build shoots well. Rebounding is unpredictable since you never know what kind of reaction the ball will have with a solid surface. Plus, this has the floatiest physics in Pinball FX. Actually, I’d swear that Cirqus has its own gravity. It also doesn’t help that the problems with Pinball FX’s physics engine are compounded on a table this tightly packed. Things like how the ball doesn’t bounce or ricochet in a way that resembles real life hurts this one more thanks to a flipper gap you can drive a steamship through. The ball gets hung-up on the mechanic to the left of the Ringmaster and just falls lifelessly down the drain. If you play well enough, it’s likely to happen once a game. It’s certainly the floatiest table in Pinball FX. I’d say it looks kind of like playing pinball underwater, only if the gravity were lighter than water. Dad wasn’t bothered. He thinks Cirqus Voltaire was always a house ball conjurer and quite overrated. His position is that it’s a fine table, but kind of generic and certainly nothing special, especially without the charm of playing on a real pinball table with neon lighting and the DMD under the glass. Maybe he was right all along. Cathy: BAD (2 out of 5) GREAT on Pinball FX3 (4 out of 5) Angela: BAD(GOOD on Pinball FX3) Oscar: GOOD (3 out of 5) Jordi: BAD Dash: GOOD Sasha: GOOD
Dave: GOOD (Pinball FX 3)
Elias: BAD (Pinball FX 3) Pinball FX Scoring Average: 2.5* – OKAY AT BEST
Pinball FX3 Scoring Average: 3.0 – GOOD
*The Pinball FX and Pinball FX3 versions of Cirqus Voltaire play RADICALLY differently.
Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for.
THREE TYPICAL AVERAGE KIDS.. INSIDE A HAUNTED MANSION.. JUST BY CHANCE.. FREED A GHOST.. WHO MADE THEM BEETLEBORGS!
“BEETLEBORGS!“
BIG BAD BEETLEBORGS!
BIG BAD BEETLEBORGS!
HEY LOOK NOW!
THEY’RE SUPERHEROES..
ARMED WITH SUPERPOWERS..
TAKEN FROM A COMIC STRIP..
AND NOW THEY’RE BEETLEBORGS!
“BEETLEBORGS!“
BIG BAD BEETLEBORGS!
BIG BAD BEETLEBORGS!
Well, that’s what the ringmaster looks like. (Dracula and Frankenstein shots taken from Monster Bash)
Xena: Warrior Princess
Cathy: MASTERPIECE (5 out of 5)
Doctor Strange
Deadpool
Cathy: 
Darth Vader
Cathy: 
Curse of the Mummy
Cathy: 
Crypt of the NecroDancer
Cathy: 
Clone Wars
Cathy: 
Classic Collectables
Cathy: 
Civil War
Cathy: 
Cirqus Voltaire
Cathy: 
The Pinball Chick 
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