CLOWN RETRO
When you have a roll-over target, I find it really helps that the target be, you know, what you aim at! The highest scoring element in Clown Retro are five roll-over lights that score 1,000 points once all five are lit. One little problem: the actual targets are not one-to-one with the lights on the table. Either that’s the problem or the targets aren’t sensitive enough, because we had moments literally every turn where the ball passed over the targets and didn’t light ’em. Not that it would save Clown. This is a table that lives down to the notion that pinball is a game of random luck. There’s too many chaos elements and no means to defend against them. It needed a lot more flippers just to rise to the level of BAD, but instead, the flippers are separated by the full length of the playfield. Combine that with the nightmare fuel art and the end result is Clown is Jerry Lewis is no longer responsible for the worst thing ever produced involving clowns. True story: Sasha didn’t get that joke at first. We explained it to her and her eyes got as wide as saucers and she said “yeah, no offense, but what you just described to me sounds a lot worse than a stupid pinball table.” Okay, fair. Oscar still thinks Matt’s rating of BAD was a practical joke. “It’s the ‘+’ that makes it suspect” he said, side-eyeing Matt. Everyone agreed multiball would have given the eyes SOME logical, high stakes shooting value. And, like so many Zacretros, this REALLY needed woodrail-style add-a-ball. Without that, there’s just no excitement. Clown is the definitive Plinko pin and one of the worst digital pins ever made.
Set: Zaccaria – 40 Retro Tables
Table Type: Woodrail
Reworking of Hawaiian Beauty (1954 Gottlieb)
Cathy: THE PITS (1 out of 5)
Sasha The Kid: THE PITS
Angela: THE PITS
Oscar: THE PITS
Jordi: THE PITS
Dave: THE PITS
Matt: BAD+ (2 out of 5)
Dash: THE PITS
Scoring Average: 1.125
Final Average: 1.0
💩Certified a Turd💩 by The Pinball Chick Team
🏆Jordi ranks #7 in 5 Ball Simulation
🏆Jordi ranks #7 in Time Loop Mode
🏆Cathy ranks #10 in Time Loop Mode
The Pinball Chick 